Tag Archives: twitter inc

Misc

BREAKING: TWiT has lost its case against Twitter

57 Comments

https://youtu.be/aT0KOgL6haI

Re-enactment of press corps reaction

We are receiving reports from the United States District Court that TWiT was unsuccessful at extorting millions of dollars from Twitter in the trademark infringement case of the century — previously covered (1) here, (2) here and (3) here.

We could not reach Leo Laporte (or Hilton Goring) for comment, but we were able to secure the following video from a random German media outlet (above).

Actual Courtroom Audio

Audio of Judge lambasting and laughing at TWiT’s lawyer

UPDATE: TotalDrama has received the official ruling below:

TWiT, LLC vs. Twitter Inc. – Case Dismissal

If you have any ideas for an article (like who Leo is frivilously suing next) we encourage you to visit our chatroom, leave an anonymous comment below or submit a tip.  A big thank you to our intrepid court reporter who was forced to listen to endless hours of TWiT pleading its case in court without being able to openly laugh his ass off.

Misc

Twitter’s Lawyers Are Not Fucking Around

74 Comments
Joseph C. Gratz, Lead Attorney for Twitter (is not fucking around here).

Twitter’s lawyers have responded to TWiT’s claim of trademark infringement and breach of contract, and while I’m not a lawyer it seems that the gist of their response was “what crappy law school did you graduate from because you dumbfucks don’t know shit about trademark law and contracts”.

Karin P. Beam, TWiT lawyer (black and white photo only because color would have cost her extra)

It should surprise no one that Leo Laporte allegedly sought out the most incompetent but cost-effective lawyer in Sonoma County to argue this case. We’re trying to find out how this relationship began — but we strongly believe some sort of “discount” was involved.

The PDF summary of the Motion To Dismiss is embedded below should you want to read what a “evidence-based” legal argument consists of.

What is clearly apparent is that this law firm did their fucking research. “They are even better at digging up past stuff than we are” remarked TotalDrama’s editor-in-chief during our 5-hour production meeting. Honestly we haven’t seen this much research and attention to detail since TotalDrama published the story of Leo showing his dick on the livestream.

Law offices of Durie Tangri, San Francisco, CA

We would like to acknowledge and salute the dozens of interns who were forced to consume every disgusting morsel of Leo Laporte’s horrid history, in order to gather enough evidence to bring down the greedy son of a bitch and defend this ridiculous legal claim. We have included a fictional re-enactment above. Thank you for your service.

Also thank you to the anonymous chatter in our chat room for providing the inspiration for this article. If you have any ideas for an article we encourage you to leave an anonymous comment below or submit a tip.

Misc

TWiT vs. Twitter: Discovery Phase

39 Comments
For better quality watch the video fullscreen.

When news broke that Leo Laporte was suing Twitter for breach of contract and trademark infringement, we all checked our calendars to make sure it wasn’t April 1st.

Doug Llewelyn, Jr. – San Francisco court reporter

When it became obvious that it was still mid-January, TotalDrama immediately sent our intrepid court reporter to San Francisco to monitor what would most likely be the trademark infringement case of the century.

TWiT vs. Twitter has just entered the discovery phase of the trial, and we are now getting access to some of the documents being entered into evidence. Judge Jacqueline Scott Corley (who we believe drew the shortest straw in the office) asked both sides to submit a video sample of some of the content which exemplifies their core business.

TWiT has requested a jury trial so we believe these videos will help “educate” the jurors or at least clear up the confusion that these companies are in fact not the same legal entity. Yeah™

Editor’s Note: The above video is a dramatization and not real trial evidence. TotalDrama will continue to follow the trial closely and will provide material updates as they become available.