Can somebody please use the comments section to tell me why on Earth my donation to UNICEF was rejected during TWiT’s “24 Hours of 2015”?
Thanks!
Leo Laporte World’s #1 Boss
We all like a little recognition from our boss once in awhile. It feels good to get a pat on the back. Well at TWiT you’re lucky if your boss knows your name.
Randal has been doing shows on TWiT for about six years and Leo can’t be bothered to remember his name. Carly, on the other hand, Leo can recognize from behind at a distance of 67 meters yet he has no clue what her name is.
Hey Leo, here’s a resolution, learn your employees names!
Racist dancing hits the TWiT Shithouse
Leo Laporte, known atheist and black-person avoider, dances in a mocking manner during The Pearly Gates gospel choir performance during TWiT’s “24 Hours of 2015.”
New Year’s Eve Starts With a Bang
I think there are a few doctrines we have learned this New Year’s Eve:
- Leo is about to pass out in Hour 1.
- Carly is the break out star (and only intern wages, hmmmm).
- Sarah is not driving in for this.
- Gum will be a barrel of laughs.
https://soundcloud.com/ghostdog-6/ll-carly#t=0:05
24 Hours of White Men
TWiT is in the midst of its much-touted “24 Hours of 2015.” The editorial board at #TotalDrama is standing by with a cadre of scientists and statisticians as we suspect that no people of color will appear live in the studio; but this has to be verified by an independent team. Please stay tuned.
Update: A gospel choir just broke the record for people of color inside the Brick Shithouse. The Pearly Gates Singers just made Leo’s head explode. But in typical TWiT fashion, the audio “sucked ass” according to a #drama chatroom member. So it appears that at least audio-based racism is alive and well in Petaluma.
The legendary Taylor K meets his hero
Legendary #twitlive participant and Internet iconoclast Taylor K got to meet one of his heroes during TWiT’s “24 Hours of 2015″—and it only cost him $100. Watch here, as Leo Laporte cautiously pockets Taylor’s donation with a wary eye. Congrats on getting on camera, Taylor!
Leo and his fake tux
The expanding human gas blob known as Leo Laporte is currently streaming his “24 Hours of 2015.” Watch now as he fake-laughs his way through the marathon broadcast of bad production values. But what is this? He couldn’t find a tux shirt big enough? Never fear. Leo has the solution—he just wears a normal black dress shirt, pops the collar and straps on a cheesy striped bowtie. Classy.
A fake tux shirt is pretty much indicative of everything TWiT has become in 2014: Stuffed shirts presenting lies on a shoestring budget held together on the fumes of past success.
Update: Leo did indeed change into a more respectable shirt. But his hair looked shitty and flat.
Total Drama Wins Award
This site is unstoppable!
We take great pride in announcing that we will be winning the award below, from the popular Night Attack podcast. I am not sure if it is a good or bad award, but, it is one more award than Gum will ever win. You can vote by clicking the link below. Feel free to skip the other categories.
Leo Laporte calls Sarah Lane a Liar
On a recent episode of “iPad Today” one-time relevant and previously non-morbidly obese glutton Leo Laporte called Sarah Lane a liar. In near-complete shock, Sarah stumbles through the rest of the segment barely able to contain her hatred for her boss. Leo goes on to remark that Sarah will most likely break her promise to tell him the truth “by January 2.”
Tech Reporters United in Stupidity
People are idiots, and we read what they write every day. I am now convinced that any semblance of sanity or reason in this world is kaput. We poke fun at Jarvis and Laporte for their, what I would not even call inconsistencies, it would be more accurate to call them blatant hypocrisies and contradictions.
(i.e.) These people are outspoken against untrustworthy governments accumulating voluminous amounts of information on individuals but are fully trusting of massive corporations in Cupertino or Mountain View giving themselves permission to look at your emails and private photos in the very same caches of information they are blindly trusted to be guardians of. They are against looking at stolen/hacked photos of Olivia Munn (nice nurse uniform) but OK with releasing stolen/hacked Sony information. And don’t believe their asshole excuses about the “public good.” They were exposing inequality in executive salaries? Bullshit. If one of these reporters actually reported and bothered even once to investigate, they would know that many, many corporations release that information and oftentimes executive salaries are public information. Trust me, the public good of seeing Kate Upton’s tatas far outweighs taking a gander at what Amy Pascal makes at Sony. That is reporting? They have no great cause to get behind and no great wrong to right so they make shit up. And half the time they don’t even understand what they’ve written! These people posture to have something to talk about at dinner. But let us get to the greatest sanctimonious horse hooey; trolling.
So what now? These phonies and freaks are on a campaign against HelloWorld. Why? Because he says vulgar stuff on Twitter. Mind you, he does this with a new account with zero followers. No one sees it besides the dainty and oh-so-delicate @user. The morons who changed their Twitter profile pictures to Anti-Sopa nonsense are full of shit. They want his IP banned. They want identities verified on Twitter. So if you’re struggling with being gay in a country where they will stone you for being yourself and you need to talk—fuck you. If you have a government that throws you in jail for protesting and you want to organize—fuck you. If you have a law practice and love “My Little Pony” in secret—fuck you. Bad words must not be seen by Christina Warren; so any right to privacy should be stricken.
Christina, pull your hat away from over your eyes, move your stupid finger to the corner of your screen and click “block.” If doing that four times a day is too much work, then switch back to the iPhone 5S and its smaller screen. I am sorry you have to see those bad words, but take one for the team. If you really can’t handle it, then perhaps seeking a line of work that is not public is best.
Just to clarify the chain of trolling: There are people like the FCC Chairman, Charlie Rose, elected officials, police, actors and CEOs who are maligned and ridiculed (trolled) by Elgum, Laporte, Snell, @film_girl and countless other reporters. Then, others malign (troll) the maligners on Twitter or blogs. Next up on the chain of trolling are the commenters on Twitter and those blogs who malign tweets and those who write the articles. And so it goes—everyone keeping everyone in check. But the Great Minds take issue with only one of the falling dominoes. Only one breed of criticism is “trolling,” the one centered squarely on their dumb-asses.
The analogy between how governments work and how tech journalism works is just too good to pass up. There is basically one or two shitheads who says things and smaller shitheads eat this shit up and regurgitate the said pooh into smellier bite-sized shit.
The #soupguzzler is so poisonous he (in private where snakes work best) uses this as an opportunity to allegedly blame Merritt. Where else would spineless Snell get this preposterous propaganda?
#Soup, if you are smarter than 99% of the population, your job is not to manipulate them. Remember, there is another 1% out there watching you.