Monthly Archives: January 2019

Misc

John Slanina leaks TWiT’s new secret show “Hands on Tech”

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John Slanina, TWiT "Engineer"
John Slanina, TWiT “Engineer”

Proving there are no limits to his incompetence, John Slanina (aka JammerB, aka Table Rotation Artist, Studio ‘A’) demonstrated again on Saturday why TWiT still has the worst engineering team in the business.

If you have been following CEO Lisa Laporte’s Inside TWiT posts you would have read that TWiT plans to release a new show in early 2019 to pacify the dozens of fans who were upset with the cancellation of Know How, The New Screensavers, and This Week in Law.

While Lisa Laporte has stated that this show will incorporate reused content(™) from previous shows, more specific details about the new show has otherwise been sparse. Although one of our tipsters did find a few more ramblings on Google+…

Video of the big reveal is above. At this time we believe JammerB purposely leaked the contents of his GMail Inbox simply to get TotalDrama to ramp up excitement for this upcoming show. You may be an incompetent engineer but you’re a fucking PR genius.

Thank you to the anonymous chatroom member who tipped us off to this story. If you see anything else newsworthy please (1) visit our chat room, or (2) leave an anonymous comment below, or (3) submit a tip by clicking on “Feedback & Tips” to the right.

Click on picture to see JammerB’s leaked GMail Inbox.
Misc

TWiT’s Sponsor List Absolutely Gutted for 2019

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Problems are ramping up for everyone’s favorite tech network. We recently covered the story of three more TWiT shows being cancelled, and now it appears that TWiT has lost nearly 40% of its sponsors going into 2019.



Disgraced actor Kevin Spacey chimes in

A comparison of the Google cache from December 2018 to the current list for January 2019 shows that even more sponsors have decided to bail on the “netcast network“. We have been tracking sponsor exits for some time using the informative website boycott-twit.com, but this month the net losses are extremely troubling. Even Kevin Spacey (Leo Laporte’s good friend) was overheard saying (in Frank’s voice) “I thought I was fucked, but TWiT is royally fucked!“. Spacey then lifted a chalice and symbolically toasted Leo Laporte.

Henry Laporte settles into his new career

We at TotalDrama had high hopes that Hank Laporte’s nepotistic placement into the sales team would put TWiT on a better path, but not even the profound philosopher himself is going to be enough to save TWiT. The best he can do to secure his financial future is to begin taking hardware home at night and hope nobody notices.

So for now the 24/7 tech network pipe dream will continue. The past failures of ZDTV, TechTV and G4 will not deter Leo and Lisa Laporte. They are positive they can succeed where three other corporations have failed… three corporations that had access to unlimited capital at the time. We at TotalDrama don’t take pleasure in TWiT’s imminent demise. Most news agencies that only cover one company would have packed up half their shit by now, but we remain committed to seeing this out until the last employee is fired and the locks on the front door are changed.

Special thanks to the anonymous tipster who provided the photo of Leo Laporte riding his overpriced and obsolete Segway PT. If you see anything newsworthy please (1) visit our chat room, or (2) leave an anonymous comment below, or (3) submit a tip by clicking on “Feedback & Tips” to the right. Thank you for continuing to support independent journalism.