Leo Laporte Complains About AMP Project His $350K Site Can’t Use

Why can't I use AMP, Four Kitchens?
Why can’t I use AMP, Four Kitchens?

Leo Laporte spent the better part of 30 minutes on This Week in Google complaining about the Accelerated Mobile Pages (AMP) Project. You can witness it in the video above in a condensed version.

He’s very upset that the poorly-developed, slow, sometimes completely unavailable, and expensive website that he contracted to be built is unable to handle the capability.

We would imagine he’s also upset because nobody uses his stupid API which was the whole point of the new site. Developers summarily rejected it due to the 5 requests per minute limit enforced across all users of any app developed. (This is because he doesn’t even own his own API. He has to proxy all requests through 3scale, who he has to pay for the requests. Ha!)

We have good news, however!


100% of Total Drama’s posts are now available in an AMP format for Google’s consumption. See an example here.


Each post has code linking to the AMP version which Google will consume and display in the carousel.

Site Comparison

TWiT.tv TotalDrama.net
100% TLS (Secure) No Partial Yes Yes
HSTS (Prevents downgrade attacks) No No Yes Yes
HTTP/2 No No Yes Yes
Accelerated Mobile Pages No No Yes Yes
Absolute Shit Content Yes Yes Yes Yes
Cost the same as 5 Tesla Model S Cars Yes Yes No No

70 thoughts on “Leo Laporte Complains About AMP Project His $350K Site Can’t Use”

  1. LOL if your site doesn’t work well, its probably because the developers when around google.com whenever they needed something and downloaded a script. Thats number one, number two, stop acting like websites are super complicated, they are not. I like how he says “we don’t write our site in HTML” ….excuse me? I don’t care how you write your website. In PHP, Node, Ruby, it outputs HTML no matter what. That is what a website is. If google is sticking somewhere, that is called a CUSTOM TAG and they are probably using polymer to do it. From my experience, polymer really junks a website up!

      » Quote comment

    1. FYI, to anyone who cares. I opened my inspector on TWiT.tv site, and checked the network tab as i typed the address in the URL bar and……it downloads over 2MB of data. HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE! no reason for it to be over 1MB

        » Quote comment

  2. Classic LL the blowhard in full effect here, this show is boring as hell even gummy is bored lol. LL pretending to be the victim of fast moving internet tech. We all know the “Drupal headed”, api enabled p.o.s. Twit website is a sham and total waste of money at a purported $350k cost. Don’t know what he’s crying about, I doubt 10 people visit his website per day lol, get a grip LL, put on your big boy pants and admit your site is a complete failure. Just one man’s opinion.

    TYFC

      » Quote comment

  3. Drupal is still alive!?!?!? I could have sworn we were singing its death chant in mid 2006 at the little software boutique that employed me until I could prove my SysAdmin chops for my next big gig. I guess that shows how far Leo is behind the times. Time for the TWiT Network to go into the can and get kicked down the road.

      » Quote comment

  4. “Absolute shit content”

    I lol’d.

    Don’t sell yourselves short my TD friends. It’s difficult when your source material is 100% complete fecal matter.

    I would say this site is the cream of the absolute shit content crop that TWiT craps out.

      » Quote comment

    1. I cringe when he is on and does his shameless shilling.

      If he actually only is compensated in travel and hotels it’s even more embarrassing to watch since he is whoring himself out for pennies. I have my doubts since I don’t believe anyone could defend Googles shadiest aspects so vigorously without getting paid.

      It could be that Google pays Leo for native advertisement and Leo in turn pays Jeff to shill. I wouldn’t be surprised if even Leo would be embarrassed to say the things Jeff says.

        » Quote comment

      1. ljjasas said:
        I cringe when he is on and does his shameless shilling.

        If he actually only is compensated in travel and hotels it’s even more embarrassing to watch since he is whoring himself out for pennies. I have my doubts since I don’t believe anyone could defend Googles shadiest aspects so vigorously without getting paid.

        It could be that Google pays Leo for native advertisement and Leo in turn pays Jeff to shill. I wouldn’t be surprised if even Leo would be embarrassed to say the things Jeff says.

        Shill is not the best descriptive word. Prostitute, hooker, or whore sounds good. Merely an opinion.

          » Quote comment

    2. When it comes to the most obnoxious groveling shills that I’ve seen on TWiT, Jeff Jarvis for Google has to be #1, followed by Ed Bott for Microsoft and Rene Ritchie for Apple.

        » Quote comment

  5. In case I was not clear in my argument above, I am a proponent of what Google does and I disagree with Leo Laporte. This is because the Amp is good. It makes the world safe from terrorism.

    I argue that Google is our savior and a modern day Moses. Amp is helping the poor. I argue that Apple and Facebook are bad and Google is good. In a lecture I recently gave (Disclaimer Google put me up at the Waldorf Astoria and paid for my hookers but I was not paid) I put forth the notion that Google is making the world a better place.

    As I said at a recent conference (disclaimer Google flew me to Tuscany and put me in a hotel and provided 3 meals a day and a car but I was not paid) Google should lead the country and not follow.

    As I mentioned in my book “What would Google Do?” the key question in life is how would Google approach this and that is how we all should.

      » Quote comment

    1. Prafesser Jeffey Jarvis, since you are a ‘journalism’ ‘professor’ at a prestigious university and clearly would never compromise your integrity for a little payola or the chance to suck up to Google in ridiculous hope they would hire you, I will take all your advice and guidance as fact.

      You are a man among crooked teeth men and I salute your honesty and ethics. Long live the overlord Google! Long live Android, Chrome or whatever they decide upon! Long live Google+…nevermind.

        » Quote comment

  6. You missed mobile responsive, TotalDrama is also mobile responsive like Leo’s expensive website.

    The person above who said these two clowns can only waste money is right. They should’ve bought the Shithouse property instead of all this crap.

      » Quote comment

    1. joe is a scriptkiddie said:
      I like how fluid TD is on iOS, my Windows PC, and my Chromebook. What a pleasant experience.

      In fact, I’ll set TD as my homepage from now on.

      Actually it’s a pretty average template I’m sure wasn’t actually coded by the people who started this site. Probably downloaded somewhere

        » Quote comment

      1. Joel osteen said: Actually it’s a pretty average template I’m sure wasn’t actually coded by the people who started this site. Probably downloaded somewhere

        What does that have to do with my comment?

        It doesn’t matter if they used a template or wrote the whole thing in Notepad on XP. The point is that TD is fluid, whatever method they used.

        I’m sure they didn’t blow $350k on it either.

          » Quote comment

        1. joe is a scriptkiddie said: What does that have to do with my comment?

          It doesn’t matter if they used a template or wrote the whole thing in Notepad on XP.The point is that TD is fluid, whatever method they used.

          I’m sure they didn’t blow $350k on it either.

          Nope not fluid at all

            » Quote comment

  7. I hate to say it, but I gotta agree with The Soup Belly on this one. AMP is google strong arming content providers (AGAIN!) to do something to help Google, not the publisher.

    As a small publisher myself, on a non-standard CMS, I have to rewrite a ton of my code or be downgraded by Google. I did this last year when google wanted Mobile-ready pages. I did it three years ago when Google had a different flavor of the month.

    Some of these ideas may have benefited the web as a whole, some may have just benefited Google. As I look at this Bullshit called Amp, it looks to me that google wants the whole web to look like them- lame, super small images, ugly design, and no javascripts at all.

    Its funny, when I run web page checkers on my sites, some of the biggest offenders for non copmpliance (non-compressed css, broken javascripts, images that are not compressed or have no alt tags) are Google properties- adsense, google fonts, etc.

    FUCK google, they ruin the net. But they are the 8000 pound gorilla, but fuck them.

      » Quote comment

    1. Relax, he doesn’t have a clue about what it is. When he talks about node it is as if he thinks node is something that runs in the browser.

      If he was responsible for specifying the web development job it explains the price tag. I can imagine the smile of the four kitchen sales guy when he heard about Leos specification.

        » Quote comment

  8. It looks like amp sites work very similarly to angularjs. In angular you can create your own tags. But when you look in the inspector after the page has loaded, you will see the tag has been replaced with standardized HTML. it’s just a template.

      » Quote comment

  9. This writting I no unnerstand. What hapen to guy who write abuot greezy hare and smelly cunt. That was funny and I cud like it. This is to much for me. Bring back man who make the fun of everyone. He was crule but I laff. It was more better in my opinin.

      » Quote comment

    1. likes 2 laff said:
      This writting I no unnerstand. What hapen to guy who write abuot greezy hare and smelly cunt. That was funny and I cud like it. This is to much for me. Bring back man who make the fun of everyone. He was crule but I laff. It was more better in my opinin.

      Andy Kaufman you’re not.

        » Quote comment

  10. This site is really a dick eating piece of troll shit that defines why the intetnet is a bad thing but….

    This was fucking brillant. . Now ill eat dick…
    No thank you, I brought my own.

    PS now that i can see how html savvy you are, im 95 percent sure I now who you are.

      » Quote comment

    1. Lisa’s Roast Beef Tips said:
      This site is really a dick eating piece of troll shit that defines why the intetnet is a bad thing but….

      This was fucking brillant. . Now ill eat dick…
      No thank you,I brought my own.

      PS now that i can see how html savvy you are,im 95 percent sure I now who you are.

      It’s a-meee, Manimal.

      FUCK OFF LAPORKE.

      #OneAss
      #DvorakTrollArmy

        » Quote comment

  11. OT: On TNT the other day, hausfrau Megan devoted an entire Ring commercial to a mom anecdote. Such a boner killer.

    On same show, Megan sports way too much make-up. Very obvious. Lauren-with-the-bow in-her-hair’s make-up is subtle on her delightfully chubby face. Much more attractive.

    Meg sweety: Applying on this much make-up just draws attention to what a middle-aged woman you are. You’re welcome.

      » Quote comment

    1. Holden said, “Such a boner killer.”

      Holden’s problem is that he uses TWiT for pr0n. This explains why female hosts’ and guests’ appearance always seem to be the most important thing, if not the only thing, that matters to him.

      For someone who doesn’t like Megan he sure keeps up on all her latest looks and chat. A bit weird, imo. Or maybe he just watches for all the unique and valuable information he gets on TNT that isn’t available anywhere else. Lolz.

        » Quote comment

  12. Same show featured four ads of such tech products such as a sports ticket site.

    Only redeeming quality was a video from Mobile World with the lovely and camera ready Florence Orange reporting next to an uncomfortable FMCP.

      » Quote comment

    1. holden said:
      four ads of such tech products such as a sports ticket

      With sentence structure like this, maybe Holden should retire his Internet Grammar Police badge and focus on the points people are trying to make. Nah, just be a hypocrite.

        » Quote comment

  13. Haha that thumbnail pic. Who is patrick delahanty anyways? I always see him lurking around twit. It says on twit’s website that he is their “web engineer”. I always thought he was just a chatroom mod that started hanging out at the twit brickhouse lol.

      » Quote comment

  14. You might as well put a gimp outfit on the feckle-toothed Jarvis and keep him locked in a steamer trunk at Mountain View in the basement.

    What an absolute steaming pile of apologist shit.
    Google could devote resources to promoting rape and genocide in some 3rd world hellhole and Jarvis would still defend them

      » Quote comment

  15. I am getting weary of the fake comments by the author.

    “this article is brilliant”
    “that line was so funny”
    “the “fuck you” at the end of the video is amazing”

    When HelloWorld was contributing there was crude stuff but it was very very funny and there was analysis mixed in.

    Peruse posts from 2014-2015 using sidebar.

    The new guys are decent sometimes except for fake comments.

      » Quote comment

  16. Tonight on twit….. ME!!!!!

    Oh you mean as for shows, lmfao im not paying for the fucking electric bill this month, I need another whormoan injection, my 12 oclock shadows 5 oclock shadow is starting to show.

      » Quote comment

  17. Stop calling me OBESE people. Tee Hee. Obese people have rights too. Tee Hee! (tongue sticking out). Every time someone calls me fat I get so depressed I cut myself… a piece of cake. Tee Hee. Tee Hee. Tee Hee. (tongue sticking out).

      » Quote comment

  18. You guys really sound like a bunch of jocks at a frat party with all this hating on women’s appearance and weight issues. Time to grow up? Women should be given respect and treated like queens!

      » Quote comment

  19. Even TD is feeling the effect of TWiT’s downward spiral. The general malaise of the entire text podcasting realm, no newsworthy subjects in tech, combined with Soup’s continued contraction of programming and the resultant contraction of on-air personalities and material has resulted in mediocre TD articles.

    It is HARD to keep the quality up on the article comments faced with situation. Believe me, we are trying.

    But we don’t have much to work with.

      » Quote comment

    1. JungleBunnyJim said:
      Even TD is feeling the effect of TWiT’s downward spiral.The general malaise of the entire text podcasting realm, no newsworthy subjectsin tech, combined with Soup’s continued contraction of programming and the resultant contraction of on-air personalities and material has resulted in mediocre TD articles.

      It is HARD to keep the quality up on the article comments faced with situation.Believe me, we are trying.

      But we don’t have much to work with.

      It’s true there is not much to work with. We have seen the owners of Twit’s genitalia, the Tesla , Casper, and Blue Apron.
      What else is there?

        » Quote comment

      1. With the luncacy and delusional behavior (have you read this yet? http://www.lisakentzell.com/2016/02/artisanal-agency-and-twittv.html) there will be plenty of fabulous moments to witness. Even the newish Twit logo that highlights Leo’s name shows the zany direction of the company (https://gallery.mailchimp.com/37a12251d934922baafe2ae03/images/1566a0ec-eba4-4f9a-8055-dd5c61c2fb06.jpg).

        I think this will only get funnier, not less so. You can be sure that evil idiot Lisa will WANT to broadcast herself and her lame opinions again like before. She just cannot resist.

        Keep up the good fight.
        TYFYC

          » Quote comment

        1. Friends? If you have to pay people to be with you they’re not friends. Then again Soup stretches the definition of friend VERY far. He was friends with Steve Jobs! Soups kids swam in the pool! Never mind the fact it was a press ass kissing with so many friends of Jobs that happened to write for a living too. Oh they were best buds. Didn’t everyone see Soup at the funeral speaking from the heart?

            » Quote comment

  20. I wish Leo would apologize for inspiring so many to use Drupal back in the early days of TWIT.

    It really is a shit product seemingly specifically designed for webdevs to cash in on feckless corporations once they take two steps in and can never get out. Leo is obviously a poster boy for this scam, and should admit it.

    It was and is an “open source” con job, and should never, ever be considered as a viable platform for personal or small business use.

    I started with it back in 2007-2008 because Leo was supporting it as viable just by using, and sadly back then the whole future of TWIT seemed fresh and exciting, so I actually respected his opinion back then.

    BIG FUCKING MISTAKE!!!

    Not only was Drupal one of the most painful web platforms in the world to use, that very complexity made it nearly impossible to move away from.

    I’ve had to completely rewrite my site in a static site generator just to get away from that crappy performing piece of garbage.

    The amount of requests and resources needed for displaying a single page would bring the site to its knees on even the lowest traffic sites, so you’d have to buy all of this extra ram just to run the damn thing since it had no intelligent caching mechanism.

    I can easily see how Leo wasted $350K and still couldn’t get what he dreamed of and wanted out of it.

    Drupal is a scam, a vast welfare program for scumbag webdevs who are committed to refusing to live honest lives.

    I’d feel sorry for Leo about it if he hadn’t proved to be one of the biggest douchebags in the western hemisphere over these past 8 years.

    I don’t even listen to Security Now anymore (for about two years now), even though I consider Steve a gem, all because that idiotic douchebag runs the show.

    I mean, the same douche who chose Lisa is the same douche who chose Drupal.

    Lesson learned!!!

      » Quote comment

  21. I went searching for a list of the ridiculous sponsors Leo’s had so I could mention it in their survey and in the process discovered this site. I’m really happy to see that other people are dissatisfied with Leo + pals since I thought it was just me. Like you, I really like Steve but holy hell does Leo’s presence make listening feel like a slog.

    Anyway, thanks again for this site, I’m going to have a bunch of reading to do, it seems.

      » Quote comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *