In a move reminiscent of Fox News Channel’s Parade of Sluts, word has reached #TotalDrama HQ that TWiT CEHo Lisa Kentzell has mandated that the network’s shows be “spiced up.”
The family-friendly nature of the network has long been touted as a safe haven for young and old alike, but as the recent exodus of tech-related advertisers can attest, a new tack was deemed necessary. Kentzell decided that sex sells. Leo Laporte of course is thrilled at this turn of events and has reportedly already ordered larger pants to accommodate his afternoon erections.
Amber Mac has already been spotted at Walmart buying even redder lipstick and bluer eyeshadow.
Snubs is prepping her boobs and TWiT staff is installing a larger freezer so she can have ready access so she can ice her nipples. Kentzell is estimating a one- to four-percent bump in advertising rates due to her high beams.
We can only pray that Sarah Lane will not have to suffer too much longer under this new regime as Ms. Lane’s particular brand of sexiness has always been above board. No word yet if Two Ton Tonya is going to put pepper on her pussy or not.
7 thoughts on “TWiT to lose “family-friendly” nature”
Lets all hope the memo from #Nympho-Mistress / #Gold-Digger was also sent Two Ton Tonya as this would cause severe distress to the advertisers and handful of viewers.
This new ratings brainwave should serve to close the freak show down sooner than later.
DB09» Quote comment
I cannot unimagine your description! That is terrifying!
I need to burn it from my mind. Thankfully I have not needed to see such a sight. It was bad enough seeing Queen Bitch showing her flacid breasts while she is abusing the dog!
burntheadbob» Quote comment
No one can get to the top just by using sex. Oh, never mind, just remembered.
Richard Yes» Quote comment
it’s 2014, who sends memos?
Goofballz» Quote comment
I still don’t know why Snubs isn’t on “Before You Buy” anymore. I thought she was leaving after she left that show.
Mark Harry» Quote comment
Dayuuuum. I thought you guys would enjoy my obvious shout out to something we all love and admire. Glad I check my SEO. So first off, Sarah asked that I join her on the show – no one else at TWiT knew I was on today until I sat down on set. Sarah makes the decision on who guest hosts on her shows, and for that, I thank her. 🙂
Also, I did leave, kinda. I’m on Tekzilla now, along with Hak5, and Coding 101. I was told I wasn’t a good fit for Before You Buy. Feel free to email me if you have questions, or if you think this isn’t really me.
Snubs» Quote comment
I was just wondering while watching Tekzilla, do you think they pushed Snubs out of Before you Buy, so the fat cow could do more work than the crap show she hosts?
Mark Harry» Quote comment