Tag Archives: Lost

How to be a CEHo for Dummies

Image006We are introducing a brand new feature at TotalDrama called CEHo’s Corner! This is an area where we try to teach someone with the intelligence quotient of a fourteen year-old to run TWiT. Today’s lesson focuses on a real problem: TWiT wants shows without Leo on them, to thrive.

Below is a post from Lisa Kentzell’s amazing  CEO blog, click below. Truly, every post on that blog is a gem and this website is nothing compared to that marvel.

Failing daily since she was hired
Failing daily since she was “hired”

(I hope you clicked that image above) So, this is actually a great example of where a CEO can help a company where the founder and star is brideled by his  egomania. Two of the hit shows the blubber man hosts are Windows Weekly and Security Now. These shows have been drawing in viewers and growing for years. Surprisingly, when the #Soupguzzler goes on his semimonthly lavish vacations and his staff fills in, these two shows in particular do not suffer at all in ratings. In fact, the over eater is often a tad grumpy on his return when he hears the praise heaped on his substitutes. The co-hosts; Steve Gibson, Paul Thurrott and MaryJo Foley are immensely talented and knowledgeable and the real stars of the shows.

In reality, many viewers have noticed that Laporte uses these shows as lunch breaks. He barely speaks on Security Now and when he does he is often inaudible with giant dollops of food dancing in his cavernous mouth. Paul Thurrott stars on another program on the GFQ network that gets tens of thousands of downloads with the thirty-inch waisted Andrew Zarrian handling the hosting duties. So it seems Laporte’s talents and charisma are not the main draw here.

I have an idea CEHo. If Leo is a big draw, and if those shows can flourish without him, how about (drum roll) switch Leo to new shows and actually try and make a new show work out.

The main hinderance is the mans ego rivals his belly in size. This is where you need a CEO. The only shows he abandons are ones with low ratings. The reason he left the GizWiz was because the ratings were down. He is so psychologically damaged he needs to say he is “on the top shows.” This might even have something to do with the fact that Tom Merritt and Erik Lanigan  were let go. Take him off the two hit shows where he is wasted and put him on two new shows. Then you would have three or four hit shows. Call Glenn and your sis into your office to confirm that four is higher than two if you’re in doubt.

TaDa, problem solved, now you don’t have to fire everyone. Now work on getting that wedding done. You do realize if you lose your wrongful termination and sexual harassment cases you will be left with nothing. Work on the ring, leave TWiT to #TotalDrama or learn to be a CEO here.

I'd rather be fat than  coward
One of the few siding against Sarah (Click above)

PS I wanted to respond to father Ballecer who called me a misogynists. I want to respond in a thoughtful and intelligent way. F you.

Mock all we say here but know this. Once you leave TWiT and make him no money you will never hear from him. Never. You will be dead to him. Chisel that in stone.