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Leo Laporte Discusses His Failing Health on Security Now

Eating himself into an early grave

Leo Laporte can’t stop eating himself into an early grave. That is apparent to any live watcher, certainly, but increasingly even download viewers. From eating extra cupcakes “for” Georgia Dow to inhaling mass quantities of food during his office studio shows (Windows Weekly, Security Now), #Soup eats and eats and eats.

He thinks that his salads are healthy, but the forensics team at Total Drama has concluded the salads are likely drenched in massive amounts of calorie-rich dressings.

It seems to have caught up to Leo.

Soup has been worried about meeting with his doctor for weeks and dreading the lab results. We’ve heard this interspersed between different shows across the network, but he laid it out for us on Security Now.

Leo desperately searching for a way to lose weight without eating less
Leo desperately searching for a way to lose weight without eating less
Here are the high points from the discussion. The takeaway is: Leo Laporte has diabetes (or pre-diabetes) now from years of stuffing food in his fat face.

  • Soup jokes that he might faint from eating too little and Steve jokes about Soup having low blood suguar. Ha!
  • Soup is on a “serious diet” now.
  • His fasting blood glucose levels are “like 150” (possibly higher?). This level should be less than 100. His blood glucose level indicates diabetes already. He admits “That’s diabetes level.”
  • His liver “is shedding alt cells. It’s self-destructing. It’s what they call non-alcoholic fatty liver disease. It’s from being fat!”
  • His LDL “is a little elevated”, putting him at risk for cardiac arrest, but his HDL is “above… you know, is good, so…”
  • The doctor “put [Soup] on a little drug”. He is now on medicines to reduce his blood pressure and now Metformin for diabetes.

    “It is the first-line drug of choice for the treatment of type 2 diabetes, in particular, in overweight and obese people and those with normal kidney function.”

  • He admits “Mostly, I need to exercise and diet a lot more.”
  • Steve tells him that it’s mostly his diet and to stop shoving food in his face constantly. Steve neglects to call him a giant land whale who is killing himself slowly by being a gluttonous piece of shit.
  • Leo gets defensive and acts like exercise should fix all his diet problems.
  • He makes a “sex toys” joke at 2:20.
  • Leo says “[The doctor] scared the hell out of me, so uhhhhhh, Imma be gudd. Imma be guuuudddddddddd.

Every single one of Leo Laporte’s current health problems are from the food he stuffed his his fatass pie hole. Look how “thin” by comparison he looked just 4 years ago when he hadn’t moved into the Shithouse, TWiT was still good, and he’d just started fucking the CeHO. He was able to climb stairs, walk without gasping for air, and even move around without the aid of Segways. He was still fat, but managed all those things he’s lost now.

Put the fork down, Leo. Out of respect for you viewers, your guests, and most importantly, your own health and longevity, put down the goddamn fork.


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