BREAKING: Jason Howell Reports: Investors Want Returns

Update: Megyn Kelly is joining NBC, leaving a spot open at Fox News for Jason Howell.

Jason Howell is normally a worthless sack of “kind of”s and “whatever”s, but in this clip, he drops a knowledge bomb on all of us. As it turns out, investors want returns on their money.

Megyn Kelly better watch out; it appears Jason Howell might actually try to escape Petaluma after all with his new journalistic muscles he’s flexing. He’s paid the price for long enough.

Transcript for the hearing-impaired

“Cuz in the kind of, I dunno, in the in the kind of institutional investment.. wuh-world… you know, they want, they put in a lot of money but they hope for quick returns. They hope for something to happen in the next couple of years… and to see kind of that return on their investment whatever.”

— Jason Howell, Host of Tech News Today

Thank you to an anonymous contributor who sent in this video.

27 thoughts on “BREAKING: Jason Howell Reports: Investors Want Returns”

  1. What the fuck is this post? Can I get it translated into English, please?

    Leo Laporte is a podcasting god! He’s going to be on the Mount Rushmore when all is said and done while your little friends John C, where the C stands for Cock Sucker Dvorak and Adam “MTV VJ” Curry are sweeping up the trash below.

    Leo Legend.

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    1. Ronnie said:
      What the fuck is this post? Can I get it translated into English, please?

      Leo Laporte is a podcasting god! He’s going to be on the Mount Rushmore when all is said and done while your little friends John C, where the C stands for Cock Sucker Dvorak and Adam “MTV VJ” Curry are sweeping up the trash below.

      Leo Legend.

      LOL Ronnie. You’re great.
      Never stop plugging your ass with your thumb and then tasting it.
      Keep on keeping on Ronnie.
      #NeverForget

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      1. Ken Sintek said: LOL Ronnie. You’re great.
        Never stop plugging your ass with your thumb and then tasting it.
        Keep on keeping on Ronnie.
        #NeverForget

        Leo “Big Dick” Laporte has been doing the damn thang for over 30 years now. He’s a legend. You guys can hate all you want, he’s counting his millions and sleeping next to a beautiful woman every night. Meanwhile your false idols Adam “My Career was over in 1988” Curry and John C, where the C stands for Crank Dvorak are scraping the bottom of the barrel. Those two haven’t been relevant in 30 years. They’re envious, as are you.

        Leo. Legend. Get with it.

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        1. Ronnie said: You guys can hate all you want, he’s counting his millions and sleeping next to a beautiful woman every night.

          What’s his wife gonna say?

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  2. Looks like Leica is back. Now as Guest Submission.
    I was really hoping he could stop, but I guess, he is kind of pathetic.

    What was once a great website, TD is now shit.

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    1. Jason Howell said:
      Looks like Leica is back. Now as Guest Submission.
      I was really hoping he could stop, but I guess, he is kind of pathetic.

      What was once a great website, TD is now shit.

      How did you get through that statement without interjecting superfluous words? You are not the real Jason Howell! IMPOSTER!!!

      #ITM #BringBackGum

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  3. To the Editorial Board:

    I understand your wanting to keep this site going.
    IMHO, I would wait until you actually had a good article.
    It’s just a matter of time before Leo steps on his dick again.

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  4. This is another fine example of your top shelf content. Thank you for the well crafted article. Oh boy, Leo’s hide is going to be chapped for sure when he reads this. Excellent!

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