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Lisa Laporte Explains Business In Under 9 Minutes

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Expert business leader, Lisa Kentzell Laporte.
Expert business leader, Lisa Kentzell Laporte.

When we heard the BeanCast — whatever the fuck that is — was having Lisa Kentzell Laporte on their show to discuss agency gender bias, we became supremely excited!

What could legendary business leader Lisa have in store?

What could we learn from her?

We knew that if Lisa was capable of tricking another podcast into believing she has an actual agency representing actual podcast networks, she is pretty much capable of anything. The podcast itself is a bit over an hour, but it’s there if you want to hear it.

Here are Lisa’s insights alone with no interruptions (8 min 37 sec). Listen — if you dare — to her dulcet tones explaining business principles, adversities she’s overcome, and definitely not sleeping her way to the top.

Hilton A. Goring could not be reached for comment.
Hilton A. Goring could not be reached for comment.

The credits list her as “Lisa Laporte, CEO, Twit.tv and Artisanal Agency”. You know, Lisa Laporte, the one with the Twitter account set to protected who runs the Art Is Anal LLC Twitter which is also protected.

That Lisa Kentzell Laporte, business expert extraordinaire.

39 thoughts on “Lisa Laporte Explains Business In Under 9 Minutes”

      1. Victor said: I was just about to masturbate when I read your comment. Now I’m just not feeling it…the thought of CEHo’s cunt makes me ill. Thanks…Douch-Bag

        CEHo is the /r/nofap mascot

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  5. Sorry but I couldn’t make it past the minute mark. All I heard was “me, me, me… I’m awesome, I’m raising a child and running two companies on my own, with just a tiny bit of help to humanize me.”

    She is literally the worst kind of person.

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  9. For those who wanted a summary of her “insight” but cannot stand the shrill of her voice:

    Lisa is a smart and amazing woman, wife, mother, and divorcée who’s running 2 companies by accidentally landing vagina first on Leo Laporte’s dick. When she’s not at the office she is regularly on skype at an incredibly early hour (many of us on the east coast have already been working much harder in our jobs for several hours) trying to explain how an extremely niche market like technology podcasting is a goldmine of an opportunity, even though there is ample evidence that money spent on podcasts provides little return on investment. But did I mention how amazing she was? She is literally the Gloria Steinem of the podcast industry, breaking molds and shattering ceilings. All women wish they were her and all children should want to grow up to be just like her!

    And furthermore… she thinks Facebook, Instagram & Snapchat are doing great and Twitter/Vine are the proverbial turds of the Internet and circulating the toilet. People hate her on Twitter and she has no idea why. Why oh why do they hate her?! Oh because she’s a strong and independent woman working in man’s world… smh

    Seriously guys this is a fucking University of Phoenix graduate (an online university which enrolls up to a quarter of a million losers ever year), trying to present herself as some kind of marketing genius. Does she really think she has any credibility to speak about companies who are worth tens of billions of dollars or more? Let’s look at the reality of the situation… she runs an “agency” with 12 fucking clients and 15 fucking networks, she has as much credibility as a Jesuit priest working in tech.

    FUCK YOU LISA. IT’S NOT BECAUSE YOU ARE A WOMAN IT’S BECAUSE YOU ARE A RETARD WITH NO CREDIBILITY.

    #OneAss

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  11. Unlike the previous commenters I made it to 3:42. This was a treat, absolutely the best post of 2016.

    She should have said:
    Many women use their tongues to blow men but it’s really not necessary, I like to think outside of the box. People say only gay men know how to give a good BJ but woman can do it too. You need to be able to juggle multiple inputs and really listen to all the quote unquote “teachers ” and then synthesize that to formulate your own technique. If you actually put your mind to it you will surprise yourself with what you can accomplish. I look back at how I sucked dick at the construction site and realize I have come so far. I look at young girls and think wow, they think they can suck dick well and maybe they can but if they want to be a CEHO they have to really concentrate and give 110%. Knowing the boss’ perverted desires is only half the battle, and it’s really knowing the next level that is where you separate the hooker from the high end call girls. Don’t let people tell you h”he is married,” if you see an opportunity you suck it hard. Sometimes youre not in the mood but the #1 thing is keeping the boss satisfied, all men like a BJ and no matter what they say you totally have to look at the cock landscape and commit. Anyway, I’m pretty much Mark Zuckerberg without the ability to code, run a company or innovate but my niche is sucking dick.

    OMG, IM LISTENING TO THE REST, IT’S AMAZING. She went from over 10 networks to almost 15. Please listen to all of it if you zoned out.

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    1. Artisanal said: Many women use their tongues to blow men but it’s really not necessary, I like to think outside of the box. People say only gay men know how to give a good BJ but woman can do it too. You need to be able to juggle multiple inputs and really listen to all the quote unquote “teachers ” and then synthesize that to formulate your own technique. If you actually put your mind to it you will surprise yourself with what you can accomplish. I look back at how I sucked dick at the construction site and realize I have come so far. I look at young girls and think wow, they think they can suck dick well and maybe they can but if they want to be a CEHO they have to really concentrate and give 110%.

      TYFYC! Felt like I was reading some crazy genius South Park script 🙂

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  12. If the header image on the Art Is Anal LLC twitter account is anything to go by then Art Is Anal is breaking equality laws by not employing men or selecting employee’s that are female and all of a lighter shade.

    Hardly good business practice and equally as bad a showing as TWiT.TV when it comes to diversity with a fair and equal mix of men and women and races.

    In fact now TWiT is looking far more diverse than the CeHo’s Art Is Anal.

    I can’t understand why she didn’t delete the twitter account rather than set it as protected after tweeting that they were turning their back on Twitter because of Trolls and moving over to Google Plus that social network that even Google is trying to wash its hands of.

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    1. Wow, that photo is messed up! Not to mention they are all TWiT employees, because when she finds idiots she can enslave she will never let them go. Then there’s her sister, aka Fat Lisa, because her whole white trash family now feeds of Leo’s teet.

      All the networks she signed up are fellow TWiT associates as evidenced by most of them being unimaginatively named This Week in X. This Week in Virology must be climbing them iTunes charts…

      She would have nothing if there was no Leo. Lisa is worth nothing by her own merit.

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    2. That image reminds me of a recent notorious image from the Huffington Post showing an editorial meeting, see if you can spot what’s odd about it(not difficult) –

      http://imgur.com/a/YkBaY

      Women in first world countries in 2016 have a complete blindspot when it comes to their own knuckle dragging sexism. Despite doing better in education and matching men in earnings in the same jobs – typically until they decide to take time off to start a family – not to mention the fact that they’ll walk away with the kids and much of the assets in any marital breakdown, they are still pretending it’s the 1950s and society and men are out to get them.

      This bogus narrative is supported by the media and political parties, Obama(who actually is intelligent) talks about the non-existent wage gap, same with poor Bernie Sanders who had to say the same to win female votes.

      Lisa embodies the market the gender pandering appeals to, she buys it hook line and sinker, it’s like confirmational catnip – yes, you can hold delusional sexist views about men because the media and politicians will validate them, never mind reality.

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      1. In fact the only male within the company is Leo Laporte. Either this is a misogynist’s harem or a feminists wet dream and Leo is the Token male. If you look at his job title “Chief Creative Officer”. What’s he creating, dickpics?

        What happened to all the males that were working directly for her. Oh I know, weren’t they “Let Go” or given a nudge from the nest into the cold cold world with their faces pressed up against the window looking in.

        It puts a new light on Needles leaving after being brown-noser in chief at TWiT! He saw the writing on the walls and ran for the hills before he lost his job leaving those that didn’t have an inkling they were being kicked to the curb to continue in blind ignorance.

        I’m sure the vagrants living in the alley behind the Brick Shit House are all the male employee’s that were kicked out of the building in preference to just having women and that’s exactly how the CeHo Gold Digging monster likes it.

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  15. I had to re listen to the recording. I the space of three seconds she says “I am married, I am divorced”, woah, either that is stupendous word salad by the woman or it implies that she doesn’t think much of her marriage to the king of fat bastardry in Tech other than him being a person that helps her keep her offspring him a private school so that she can go on cruises and to swinger parties with her “helper”.

    What an awful woman and what a terrible parent.

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    1. Timmy said:
      Hilton A. Goring? Who the hell is this black guy? Did Leo fire him because he is black?

      My guess is yes. Leo and Lisa are clearly racists among other things. They are also homophobes. Notice that there are very few homosexuals (unless your’e a somewhat attractive dime pc female) on TWiT shows?

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  18. Am I understanding this correctly….

    Twit used to sort out its advertisers ‘in house’ with its own advertising people, but now Lisa has created her own company to sit between the advertisers & twit.tv to skim a % of sales revenue.

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    1. Yup
      I also think she uses her “AnalRus” company as a middleman to keep the Sponsors from seeing the real dying numbers of Twit listeners…
      I awesome she’s probably inflating Twits listenership numbers…

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  23. It sounded like there are problems already concerning the air conditioning at the new place. Soup asked CeHo about it, and she said not to bring it on screen because she doesn’t like to cry. A week to go and it’s not even half finished. There will be no AC . It will be like working in a sweat shop.

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  24. Well….CoHoe’s last construction project was months late and several $100,000 over budget , what’s to say she has improved her management skill set since then. In fact, what has gone well for Leo since the CoHoe has wedged her body into Leo’s massive folds. About the only thing she has accomplished is moving several of Leo’s shows around so as to give him 2 days off. Oh, let’s not forget all the shitty ads her, I’m a woman and I’m the boss, ad agency, ArtIsAnal has placed on TWiT. The Hoe has cost Leo millions when his divorce is factored in, she can’t place enough skanky ads to make up for that Loss.

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