Leo Laporte’s fatlogic is a source of wonder and yet is scientifically sound. We at Total Drama are confused why Leo Laporte could possibly have been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. How could this be, especially in a world where fatlogic reigns supreme?
A list of totally true Fatlogic Facts® regarding Leo Laporte:
- Leo never drinks soda or juice and is peeved that he didn’t gorge himself on corn syrup to get fatter sooner.
- He never overeats.
- It’s genetic.
- His body doesn’t obey the laws of thermodynamics: He eats fewer calories than he burns and still gains weight.
- Leo exercises so that means he can eat whatever he wants in any amount he wants.
- He likes pasta but doesn’t think he eats it to excess.
Leo goes on to talk about how people in the South drink sweet tea and a bunch of other boring stuff. We prepared a post two weeks ago with nearly 30 minutes of Leo talking about his confirmed diabetes diagnosis, but we never posted it (because we don’t want to bore our readers to death.) Let us know in the comments section if there is any interest in seeing the entire video.
There may not be much of a point to posting the video, because Leo talks constantly about diabetes and specifically how it is not his fault. So, feel free to just tune in to the live stream at any time to get that.
May the beetus take him soon so we don’t have to listen to his insufferable interrupting about how he knows better than everyone else in the Twit Shithouse who are trying to give him advice. These people, it must be noted, do not have diabetes and it would do Leo well to listen to them instead of being such a goddamn blowhard.
HelloWorld» Quote comment
I don’t want anything to happen to Leo. If it did. there would be no need for this site.
Nina» Quote comment
Great post. Please post the video, so future generations can have a laugh.
Lips Of Jizz» Quote comment
His obsession is what will kill him. What will he talk about if he gets cancer? As for the line about veganism and “it can’t hurt.” Tell that to STEVE JOBS and all the other pancreatic cancer victims.
What an idiot. Someone should mention to him that diabetes is often triggered by personal issues like marrying some psycho cunt.
Lance Boil» Quote comment
Oh shit, maybe I should get checked then.
Lips Of Jizz» Quote comment
Don’t fret. The dude never goes through with any of his “grand revelations” or major live changes.
So veganism is safe from adding Mr Laporte to its death toll.
NormansThridNipple» Quote comment
I looooove how Leo is such an expert, and medical science is sooooo wrong and confused on this matter. Maybe Leo is just getting fat so he can do research on the cures he’s discovering.
Lips Of Jizz» Quote comment
I’m fairly certain he puts in as much research into his health related issues as he does for his shows…which is….let me see… **Does some rough math…carry the one… Account for the position of the sun and exact pantone shade the grass outside his house is…**
Zero.
Esch» Quote comment
To be fair, there is a whole despicable industry of charlatans praying on feeble fatties like Mr Laporte, telling them how this miracle cure or that is going to fix in 3 days what is now a chronically degraded body function.
And the fatties lap it up, as only they know how.
What’s the over/under on Pauly ‘I walk the block three times a week, just look at how HUGE my Microsoft Band is!” Thurrott getting diagnosed? Didn’t he, too, peddle one of those fat is great for fatties fad author’s guide to an early grave?
But disruption! And who gives a flying f about medical studies! Give Laporte a soda, he’s already regretting not getting to his current miserable state sooner!
NormansThirdNipple» Quote comment
His mind is more amazing than anything. This video will serve generations to come. Bless you HW for what you have done for science and mankind.
He can convince himself of anything. Does he not understand that we see him gorge himself on lettuce covered in sugary syrup with fried chicken and other poisons made by the food industry. His lack of movement is legendary regardless of the 26 minutes a week he spends on his treadmill going 2.2 MPH.
Dr Mom» Quote comment
DrMom: I didn’t write this story. Notice the lack of the word “cunt” in it. That’s the tip-off that I didn’t write it. 😉
HelloWorld» Quote comment
He probably should have gone to a professional sooner, rather than relying on Dr. Mom and Steve Gibson of Gibson Research Corporation fame for health advice.
Jimmy Jam» Quote comment
Leo is full of shit. Leo’s problem is that he sits in a chair as a job for 8 to 10 hours a day. It is the reason why his body is shaped like a pear. Jumping on a treadmill 30 minutes a day for 3 weeks a year isn’t going to fix lazy ass disease.
Me» Quote comment
Post the unexpurgated video, please!
holden» Quote comment
Hate to shock everyone, but we know Leo will probably cause the collapse of Twit, probably weight related I would guess. Also what is that screen saver @ 4:15? https://youtu.be/OAiiN71a28Q?t=255
He also has family friendly turned on for the “You son of a bitch” that was uttered several times about Starbucks coffee.
@ https://youtu.be/OAiiN71a28Q?t=204
IamOnlyHereForTheTech» Quote comment
Leo LaCunt’s rant about his diabetes is going to be worse than a reformed smoker.
Leo u fat fuck, there is no quick fix to cure u’r years of overeating crap from restaurants and deli’s.
Please do us all a favor just buy a gun and end our pain, listening to u on how right u are & how wrong every other person is about your “diabetes ” like u’r the only person in the world that has it.
Stop buying crap from the “store deli” U fucking idiot , for a self proclaimed “smart guy” u’r the stupidest prick I’ve ever bared witness to.
Your fucking 30 min yoga and tread mill workout doesn’t do nothing for u, u need to eat less , work out more using heavy weights or dig a small trench or grave every day in order to reverse the years of abuse u put your body through.
stop talking about your fucking diet and your health problems,
no one fucking cares!!!
We just want you to disappear!!!!
OhNoYetAnotherTroll» Quote comment
Sheesh what a blowhard! He has been excerscising since his 20s, eats well never in excess he should be the picture of health according to his delusional self. People! The guy sits for 10 hours a day and no matter how many healthy tech gadgets he owns, none did anything to avert his diabeetus, also that’s why he needs suspenders now, his booty is flat from all the sitting down and his pants slide right off without them. On becoming a vegetarian, he said his wife warned him she eats vegetarians? Ooooh the thought of that, that may be enough for LL to go vegetarian lol.
Mark Pugner» Quote comment
Get ready for “This week in Diabetes” brought to you by Blue Apron starring Father Bob Fatty and Porky Laporte.
Diabetes fighter and diabetes contender.
magic» Quote comment
Leo did an exercise show – it lasted about 3 episodes.
Belmont’s Fake Geek Glasses» Quote comment
And Al the personal trainer was a fattie, too.
Which in hindsight should’ve been a bit of a warning sign.
NormansThirdNipple» Quote comment
Unfortunately fat logic is only going to lead to rising medical costs for everyone and a lot of pain and early deaths for fats.
Fats always tell you they eat 500 cal a day in salads yet keep gaining weight. What they’re not telling you is their real feeding habits. Fat doesn’t materialize out of thin air.
Belmont’s Fake Geek Glasses» Quote comment