Editor’s Note: This column marks the beginning of a new feature on #TotalDrama: “Ramblin’ Rage by Richard Yes” is a wonderful new stream-of-conscious experiment. It’s a place where our ace reporter unleashes his unfocused anger and brings us the unexpurgated #truth…

I miss the measly little cottage Tech News operation. The CNN of Tech is just not happening. They used to do interesting content with interesting guests but now it is so much less. If it’s happening in tech it’s not happening on TWiT. Who could forget the unparalleled lack of coverage of Amazon buying TWiTCH? Who could forget the horrid breaking news of the Microsoft CEO hiring, five hours after MSNBC and everyone else covered it.

They are the leading Tech network and they can’t get an invite to the 2,300 seat auditorium where the biggest announcement of 2014 is happening? And don’t feed us the shit that Inhatko and Ritchie are covering it for you. They got invites and airfare from The Chicago Sun Times and iMore. Basically everyone in tech is going. Almost everyone big man.

What the hell is Elgum doing in his office all day? Don’t answer that. And don’t feed us the story about you being banned, Apple knows who you are about as much as Kevin Spacey does.

P.S. It’s time to bite the bullet and switch to 2X large. XL is not cutting it anymore.