With Leo Laporte’s recent spate of decidedly non-family-friendly public statements, it has come to light that the ham-necked TWiT founder may not be entirely responsible for his actions.
It seems that TWiT HQ may be built on top of an ancient porn star burial ground. In the 1980s, as pornography studios proliferated across Southern California—in Los Angeles in particular—studio heads had to decide where to dump the bodies of dead porn stars after the industry was wracked by a secret AIDS scandal. It is rumored that up to 45 percent of the brunettes and nearly 65 percent of the blondes (both fake and real) succumbed to the dread disease. As a result, LA-area graveyards were filled to bursting with the infected, yet beautiful corpses.
After a nationwide search for alternate cemetery space, it was decided that Petaluma would become the dumping ground for these hot, but dead, porn stars. More specifically, 140 Keller St. was chosen as the largest of these open pits. So it appears that Leo might very well have been infected with the spirit of these departed sex film stars. What’s more, the vile phrases coming out of his mouth may just be the last ghostly breaths of the hot and loose actors of filmed sex-acts of days gone by.
We’re praying for you, Leo! If you need a good exorcist, contact your ex-wife. It worked getting you out of the house once before and it might very well work again in this case.