Happy Holidays From Total Drama

Update: Be sure to look down below the animation for an additional holiday gift.

May your holidays be as merry as Leo’s dick is short and stubby.

From your friends at Total Drama. — Click here for full size and admire all the details.

This holiday animation was created by one of our wonderful #OneAss chat room members.

A Total Drama Christmas Story

By King Leo Laporte

‘Twas the night before Christmas, at the grow-op house
Not an insect could find food, not even a louse;
The stockings were empty, the Caspers were bare
The Ring doorbell was armed, they all said a prayer

The children were all silent, consumed by their tech
With hopes that St. Nicholas would soon write a check;
The Uber was booked, the Away luggage packed
The man purse was on, the TrackR’s were tracked

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Henry looked up from his cracked iPhone to see what was the matter;
A shady man emerged, so portly and plumb
They knew in a moment it must be Effendumb

Hey Abby, hey Henry, hey Lisa, Hey Leo
Hey Ozzy, Hey Michael, get in my four seat Kia Rio;
I’ll transport your family with the utmost of care
And get you to your gate with much time to spare

And then, in a twinkling, they went on their way
Effendumb chortled merrily, so joyous and gay
Merry Christmas to all and Happy New Year
Even Hilton A. Goring, wherever he may be

52 thoughts on “Happy Holidays From Total Drama”

  1. A Total Drama Christmas Story:

    ‘Twas the night before Christmas, at the grow-op house
    Not an insect could find food, not even a louse;
    The stockings were empty, the Caspers were bare
    The Ring doorbell was armed, they all said a prayer

    The children were all silent, consumed by their tech
    With hopes that St. Nicholas would soon write a check;
    The Uber was booked, the Away luggage packed
    The man purse was on, the TrackR’s were tracked

    When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
    Henry looked up from his cracked iPhone to see what was the matter;
    A shady man emerged, so portly and plumb
    They knew in a moment it must be Effendumb

    Hey Abby, hey Henry, hey Lisa, Hey Leo
    Hey Ozzy, Hey Michael, get in my four seat Kia Rio;
    I’ll transport your family with the utmost of care
    And get you to your gate with much time to spare

    And then, in a twinkling, they went on their way
    Effendumb chortled merrily, so joyous and gay
    Merry Christmas to all and Happy New Year
    Even Hilton A. Goring, wherever he may be

      » Quote comment

  2. Merry Christmas and Happy New Years!

    I think my favorite part of the image is the picture over the fireplace with the crossed out staff. I wonder who will be crossed off next year?

    …that picture of Lisa…I’d like to hand some mistletoe over her ass and spend Christmas Eve and day eating it out! I don’t care what you guys say, she’s hot!

      » Quote comment

  3. So….

    Lecia retires on Nov 9th and then there are no more posts.
    After over a month we have a user submission, a post by crotch magnet, a post by Lecia and now a post by TD staff.
    All in the former patter of a new post every 3 to 5 days of Lecia.

    Ok, great job Lecia, we’re fooled.
    Hey Holden and Milton Bradley.

    Lol

      » Quote comment

      1. Buford T. LaPorke said:
        That’s a work of art!
        I hope everyone (left) at Twit appreciates the effort.
        #OneAss

        Buford T. LaPorke said:
        Your man love for Lecia is noted.
        NTTAWWT

        Gee Buford, you’re defending Lecia and calling a post of Lecia a work of art and making fun of the “one ass” theory…
        I wonder who this commentator is…

        And this comment is not gonna hit the website because the autocrat Mini-Leo will delete it. Long live free speech (that we approve)

          » Quote comment

          1. Buford T. LaPorke said:
            Right again I see!
            You keep at it!
            #OneAss

            It is kind of obvious.
            (exclamation points almost threw me)
            You also need to link to HW, RY, GD LK or anyone besides your articles once in a while. You have what we call in poker “tells.”

              » Quote comment

    1. The Guest Submission post text was written by me. The video was sent in. We don’t claim ownership of the post when the primary content was sent in by someone else.

      The Total Drama Staff post “text” was also written by me, but again, it’s wishing happy holidays from all of us, and the GIF was created by one of our awesome chat room members. You of all people should know I’m not capable of that. The “King Leo Laporte” poem you can see yourself that I pulled from the comments after posting.

      TNJJ is gone, brother. I’m mostly gone but came back for the porn post. I’m not sure how interested I’ll remain. Crotch Magnet is a long-time chat room member, even though I saw your stupid IRC join/trolling with that nick. You don’t know who he is, and I guess he doesn’t want to have the association be publicly known.

      Many writers have left. None of this is a trick or a secret. Also, Buford wasn’t me either. You seem obsessed.

        » Quote comment

      1. Don’t go confusing him with facts. He’s got a serious crush on Lecia. I’ll bet he has calluses on his palms from the beatings he’s given his Special Little Soldier over it.

        To each their own.
        #OneAss

          » Quote comment

      2. Leica Lens said:

        TNJJ is gone, brother. I’m mostly gone but came back for the porn post. I’m not sure how interested I’ll remain. …
        Also, Buford wasn’t me either. You seem obsessed.

        When you posted as TJJ you would comment in this mature tone that you’re using now. You used “brother” and “man” quite a bit. You engaged with the “haters”

        Another remarkable coincidence. So you just came back for the porn post and the site happened to fall back into the one post every 3-5 days that with a random, user submission, holiday message, porn post, and return by crotch magnet. What are the odds??

        It is kind of funny to see you complaining about an obsessed troll. Reminds me of fat Leo.

          » Quote comment

          1. Leica Lens said:
            Believe whatever you want to believe, I guess. I looked back through the comments, and I don’t see a single comment ever made by TNJJ. I was interested to see if I really talked like him/her.

            I like Lecia and Total Drama, since always, but I believe the conspiracy. You looked at comments to see if you slipped up,

            It’s not a big deal to use different names, a lot of people do. The lying is problematic.

              » Quote comment

          2. Leica Lens said:
            Believe whatever you want to believe, I guess. I looked back through the comments, and I don’t see a single comment ever made by TNJJ. I was interested to see if I really talked like him/her.

            : – ) Lecia, fess up

              » Quote comment

          3. The question is why would anyone care? Did you think Lecia/Leica was his real name? You did not uncover a great mystery here. You act as if anyone will care one way or the other if it is one two or three people.

            The only thing more annoying than your non-stop crusade to *out* him as the one author is Lecia/Leica denying it.
            *Him/Her*

            Bro. There are no women at TD so you can drop the “him/her.” You are just as retarded as your troll is. And you’re both men. STOP COMMENTING ON WHO LEICA IS!!

            PS THERE IS NO C.I.A. IN LEICA

              » Quote comment

        1. You’re a Hillary supporter amirite?

          Totally ignore the obvious, just stick to mantra that brings you comfort: There is only #OneAss in the world that doesn’t adore MeganMom as much as you, and that person is Lecia. Yet you are developing a Stockholm syndrome for him. You seek his interaction, his acknowledgement, his.. dare I say it?…(Dare! Dare!).. his ManLove!

          NTTAWWT but you should realise that MeganMom doesn’t know who you are, or that you see yourself as her white knight.

          It’s rumored she’s busy being a mom and probably having therapy classes for the guilt from enabling a misogynist employer.

          Keep Pushing the Love and Light.
          #OneAss

            » Quote comment

  4. Happy new year!

    Check out Jupiter broadcasting podcasts if you would like something better than twit. Tech snap has replaced security now for me, it is refreshing to hear something other than https talk re-hashed for the millionth time.

      » Quote comment

  5. First time I heard the portable dog killer episode I enjoyed it.
    Second time I played it in the car for my children.
    But TWIT keep playing it. Year after year. Relentless. Merciless. Looping over and over again. Like a drunk uncle retelling the same story every Xmas. Except he’s not drunk. He knows he’s told the story before and he is going to tell it again anyway. Can this be reported to the EFF? Who stands for the little guy?

      » Quote comment

  6. So the latest TWiG happened…

    Why doesn’t Jeffery Jarvis just fucking move to Germany already? I’m starting to think this old curmudgeon is never taken pleasure in anything.

      » Quote comment

  7. I think Dec 23 is a good place to end the blog. Solid two and a half years. Even the “iPad porn story” that used to be a big deal is now old news that no one cares about. Aside from Laporte cancelling shows or firing people, I know I’m not interested.

    Thanks for all the stories. There was a time this was the funniest place on the internet. I was in your chat when Alex (MBW) tested his chat program and watching you guys troll that thing was the funniest thing I ever saw. You probably helped his ratings in the beginning. I don’t watch TWiT anymore at all, zero, but I am guessing he doesn’t even mention you guys anymore. TWiT got small fast. There were no more people on his shows of any consequence back when I cut them off in early 16.

    See ya and take care to all the commenters. All were great. I am probably only loser who browses with your “random” button for laughs.

      » Quote comment

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