No Live Audience for TNSS Results in TWiT’s Rent-a-Cop Reading Cold Open

Update: Nobody calls The Tech Guy anymore either.

TWiT’s flagship show The New Screen Savers — the one that Leo Laporte constantly says is “a TV show” — had literally not one single person show up for the live recording on the most recent episode. Not one single sycophant even bothered to show up to see the rehashing of bullshit that Leo does on every one of his shows.

Nobody wanted to see Leo misuse TOR with his hardware firewall native ad. Nobody wanted to see Iain’s misshapen head and lack of a neck.

The viewership numbers have dwindled, but there are usually at least a couple sad sacks of shit that will show up to watch garbage in return for taking a photo with that guy who was on TechTV 10 years ago.

Ken has seen some shit.
Security guard Ken has seen some shit.

So instead, in what must be Leo Laporte’s ultimate shame, his reboot of The Screen Savers from the failed TechTV network had to have their own rent-a-cop do the cold open. Leo made jokes you can hear in the video above, which is what he does when he is uncomfortable.

Will Leo resort to paying for fake extras in the future? No. That costs money. Money is for cruises, shore excursions, and Leica equipment to try to convince Chris Markfart that he’s a real photographer.

61 thoughts on “No Live Audience for TNSS Results in TWiT’s Rent-a-Cop Reading Cold Open”

    1. Broken News Ticker said:
      Breaking news. No callers for The (not so) Tech Guy show Sunday

      Really? I bet the calls and emails are plants too.
      They are so desperate for views that they delay publishing the show on YouTube in the hope that the YT audience will DL the show from podcast feed so they get money.

      They are really struggling financially and no hosts get paid anymore. calacanacanais works free for imagined exposure.

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    2. Broken News Ticker said:
      Breaking news. No callers for The (not so) Tech Guy show Sunday

      Really? I bet the calls and emails are plants too.
      They are so desperate for views that they delay publishing the show on YouTube in the hope that the YT audience will download the show from podcast feed so they get money.

      They are really struggling financially and no TNSS co-hosts get paid anymore. calacanacanais works free for imagined exposure.

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  1. I haven’t been paying close attention, but has Patrick Norton not done a show since his appearance wherein he couldn’t convince Leo some people might have use for a real computer, as opposed to a Chromebook? He seemed genuinely fed up with how asinine Leo was being on the subject.

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  2. I was listening to this Sunday’s Tech Guy and a guy calls, says he is an I.T. professional and needs Leo to tell him what Windows tablet he should buy? Shouldn’t an I.T. professional already know the answer to that question? Looks like Premier is giving Leo planted callers.

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    1. Me said:
      I was listening to this Sunday’s Tech Guy and a guy calls, says he is an I.T. professional and needs Leo to tell him what Windows tablet he should buy? Shouldn’t an I.T. professional already know the answer to that question? Looks like Premier is giving Leo planted callers.

      WTF???
      I’d be alittle embarrassed calling into a national radio claiming I was an IT guy but I don’t know what laptop I should buy from
      “Leo LaFuck The Fake Tech Guy”

      What a fucking joke

      So I see the “Leo the Fake Tech Guy” can’t take a basic photo even with the 10’s of $1,000’s of dollars he spends on camera gear ,
      blaming his new “film ” shot pictures crapy look on the folks who developed the pictures for him

      What an asshole
      Give it up Leo !!!!!
      your not a tech guy
      your not a photographer
      your not the smartest guy in the room
      your not a radio disc jockey
      your just a fake
      your a drop out
      your a fat piece of shit
      your health is failing
      your a woman abuser
      your a liar
      your full of yourself
      your business is failing by the second
      your man-wife is a cunt
      your balls are small
      your pee pee is even smaller
      your not in the 1% club as u like 2 think
      your broke yet to stupid to see it
      your man-wife is a cunt
      your full of shit
      your the guy who killed Eriklanigan
      your insecure
      your triple chins have their own Zip codes
      your man-wife is an ugly cunt

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  3. I imagine that Premiere will only provide planted callers for so long before they start realizing that his show needs to be cancelled. I would assume it’s common practice to have planted callers on any talk show such as this because there will always be times when they may not have enough, but if this trend goes on for several weeks, my money is that this is the end of The Tech Guy.

    And yes, it definitely seems like the downward slope that TWIT is on is moving much much faster now. Do we need to start placing $1 bets on what date TWIT will fold? 😛

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  4. Me said: Looks like Premier is giving Leo planted callers.

    I think it’s probably less likely to be Premier and more likely to be done by Leo/Lisa – they wouldn’t radio network to have any idea things are bad.

    But tbh sometimes even knowledgable people will call up the radio just to get that buzz, however small. Or, the guy might’ve wanted it for a family member who simply wouldn’t take his advice, so he went to an “expert” like Leo.

    I dunno – hearing in mind that the way normal people approach tech is so different to the way we do, none of the calls surprise me. I see people using the Google search bar to search for Google on their laptops. I see people go to google.com to search for facebook.com; people might even be IT professionals but they can still be stupid – God knows, the IT people where I work have the most absurd ideas about network security and software management. If any one of them said they wanted to buy a tablet, I wouldn’t trust their opinion one bit.

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  5. Jimmy Jam said: Wait, I thought TNSS was their second most successful show after TWiT?

    Is it possible to get a rough idea what the actual audio & video download numbers are for Twit shows, or is that info kept private? I am shocked by how low the YouTube numbers are, but in a way it’s explainable cos these shows are first and foremost podcasts and will be downloaded using podcast apps. Of course, if Leo and Lisa truly cared about their audience they would be doing their best to increase views in all formats, but they clearly don’t care.

    So, what are the download numbers?

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    1. Except TNSS which is mainly a Video production. If you check the YouTube numbers they are NOT stunning at all and you have to wonder on which other major video platform the rest of the downloads are hidden.

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    2. I don’t think there’s a way to judge video downloads other than YouTube.

      I’m guessing TNSS being their second most successful TV show is either a flat out lie, or has an asterisk like the most sucssful show started in the last month or some shit.

      Who cares, it’s a pathetic attempt at reliving the glory days that weren’t even that glorious. Everything from the call for help to the mailbag are pathetic in this day and age.

      But they talk about global warming and bionic technology so I guess it’s as current as it needs to be.

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      1. Jimmy Jam said:
        I don’t think there’s a way to judge video downloads other than YouTube.

        See I’m a bit confused – do people download video podcasts using podcast software? I never download video podcasts, but I always thought podcast apps did audio and video. I guess I just think we should be cautious about assuming they’re not getting any viewers, cos people might not see these things as videos to go and watch; they might be downloading them through podcast feeds.

        They’re probably not getting viewers, but I don’t think YouTube is where people would go to watch Twit shows. I dunno, what you you all think?

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  6. Ever since the first episode, this tnss show has been to embarrassing to watch. It’s that bad. If they hired me I could turn it around because we all know what made the original great, no Lisa.

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    1. Joel osteen said:
      Ever since the first episode, this tnss show has been to embarrassing to watch. It’s that bad. If they hired me I could turn it around because we all know what made the original great, no Lisa.

      not just no lisa. it wasn’t all leo all the show and it actually had some hosts and or segments worth watching.

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  7. Looks like Leo’s fat ass just about had it. It is doubtful they will make it another four months, six tops. Leo will pretty much retire with his ugly whore wife. They might do some media from their home or maybe a small studio but without any staff. If Abby isn’t strung out on drugs she may help. I’m.. I’m sure Leo and The cunt are teaching the cunts retarded hid how to operate the media equipment.

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  8. I’ve often wondered just how dumb the callers to any of his shows really are? In this day and age, who the fuck calls into a show, gets screened and then stays on hold interminably? As for TNSS, I quit watching it about 6 months ago because I just didn’t like it and I hated the advertisers and I would never buy anything to support that tub of guts and his work slaves.

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    1. rocker182 said:
      Probably the most work that rent a cop has done since he was hired

      Are you kidding me..?! Wtf, didn’t you get the memo?

      Leo has a rich crazed lunatic with a thousand personalities out to get him. In fact, all of us here are simply extensions of this psychopath – so I suppose you and I are only talking to ourselves, or something.

      Anyways, this deranged (maybe, maybe not) serial killer (of dreams, mayhap) has demanded extraordinary attention from the full might of FBI, NSA, CIA, Interpol, TSA, and the local #soup kitchen – meriting an unprecedented level of protection for King #soup.

      Seriously, because of that vile villain (aka. us, aka., apparently, “me,” as an extension of this so very warped mind), Obama, Bush, Clinton and Trump combined have fewer agents offering personal round the clock protection. I mean, really now, do you think they’d so much as consider a single hurt feeli… err… hair, on the head of such an incredible national “treasure” to face the very serious threats Leo double pinky swears to have been made by that lunatic “army of (apparently) one” undefended?

      Tl;dr? Don’t be fooled – the future site of the Petaluma Soup Kitchen’s security guard? The dude is a super secret ninja spy who can kill a man just by grimacing at him. Because… such a wealthy and important celebrity as Leo? He affords nothing less than Chuck Norris as his first (and last) line of defense. You heard it hear first (from yourself, no less!) – the super elite TWIT security guard is actually Chuck Norris in disguise!

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      1. RT2 said: Are you kidding me..?! Wtf, didn’t you get the memo?

        Leo has a rich crazed lunatic with a thousand personalities out to get him. In fact, all of us here are simply extensions of this psychopath – so I suppose you and I are only talking to ourselves, or something.

        Anyways, this deranged (maybe, maybe not) serial killer (of dreams, mayhap) has demanded extraordinary attention from the full might of FBI, NSA, CIA, Interpol, TSA, and the local #soup kitchen – meriting an unprecedented level of protection for King #soup.

        Seriously, because of that vile villain (aka. us, aka., apparently, “me,” as an extension of this so very warped mind), Obama, Bush, Clinton and Trump combined have fewer agents offering personal round the clock protection. I mean, really now, do you think they’d so much as consider a single hurt feeli… err… hair, on the head of such an incredible national “treasure” to face the very serious threats Leo double pinky swears to have been made by that lunatic “army of (apparently) one” undefended?

        Tl;dr? Don’t be fooled – the future site of the Petaluma Soup Kitchen’s security guard? The dude is a super secret ninja spy who can kill a man just by grimacing at him. Because… such a wealthy and important celebrity as Leo? He affords nothing less than Chuck Norris as his first (and last) line of defense. You heard it hear first (from yourself, no less!) – the super elite TWIT security guard is actually Chuck Norris in disguise!

        After reading this i would love to see someone show up dressed up as a isis member to the Brickhouse

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  9. I think you all missed something els3e in this weeks TNSS- the new, abbreviated open.

    When they fired GUM, I was wondering if they would re-edit the show open.

    Looks like they did- and they took out EVERYONE. No more #PadreOne quadcopter, no more screen credits for Megaaaahn, Gum, Padre, or anyone else. I think the whole open is now about 1/2 as long as it once was.

    ——————————–

    Also, you CAN get download numbers for iTunes from here:

    http://www.itunescharts.net/us/charts/podcasts/

    You will note TWIT does not have a single entry in the top 100.

    If you go to JUST Technology, TWIT is # 5 (with a bullet!), Tech Guy # 12, MacBreak Weekly # 15, Security Now # 19, Windows Weekly # 24 and Tech News Today # 25.

    I actually have been watching this, and these numbers are a little high, but there are TYPICALLY just these six shows in the Tech Podcast ratings.

    (Just Tech Podcasts: http://www.itunescharts.net/us/charts/podcasts/technology/)

    I have ONLY seen TNSS in the list once, and it was way down the list.

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    1. “Dave” said: When they fired GUM, I was wondering if they would re-edit the show open.

      Looks like they did- and they took out EVERYONE. No more #PadreOne quadcopter, no more screen credits for Megaaaahn, Gum, Padre, or anyone else. I think the whole open is now about 1/2 as long as it once was.

      Thanks “Dave.” We’ll use this.

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  10. I just searched ‘TNSS’ on YouTube and nothing relevant on the first page.

    They can’t even bother to properly tag their shit. Do they expect everyone to have a direct link? TWiT has always refused to take YT seriously and it’s a big failure on their part.

    And just now the fatass is musing on TTG that YT is a feudal system and all you get is a rutabaga. He says you’re more likely to win the lottery than make it on YT. You might not be the next biggest start on YT but I’m pretty sure it’s more likely for someone to make an okay living posting videos on YT than winning the lottery… unless of course, you’re TWiT.

    Fuck off Leo with your sub-1000 view YouTube videos. You are so irrelevant.

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    1. The yt views numbers are kind of pathetic. I don’t know how they sell their ads. I have a going theory that if you made the rss/iTunes gold rush for subscribers a decade ago, you’ve basically coasted off of that. It seems to be a fact.

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  11. TboneGreen said: Does this guy look like a guy that would LIE to you?! *GASP*

    https://youtu.be/0vk9rtdnjVY?t=1m20s

    I’m with you on how dishonest the guy is, but there’s still a part of me that wants to be cautious over the numbers. Even the iTunes figures won’t tell the full story – I never download podcasts through iTunes, for example, and actually neither do any of my friends, cos we all use dedicated podcast apps that pull the files straight from the source and don’t sync to iTunes at all.

    While I do agree that Leo Laporte is a fundamentally dishonest person, I don’t think he would say that TNSS is now the second most downloaded show and has massively grown, unless there was some truth at the root of it – TNSS is possibly more successful than we think, despite how abysmal it is.

    I guess all I’m saying is, even with iTunes and YouTube download numbers, we still aren’t seeing anywhere near the complete picture of his downloads. I’ve got a nagging doubt about this – I think we are assuming it’s a massive failure but we don’t have enough info to definitively say so.

    I’ve always preferred my sneering hatred to be based on information I can corroborate 🙂

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    1. evilpants said:
      While I do agree that Leo Laporte is a fundamentally dishonest person, I don’t think he would say that TNSS is now the second most downloaded show and has massively grown, unless there was some truth at the root of it – TNSS is possibly more successful than we think, despite how abysmal it is.

      Within the broadcast media world it is advantageous to announce to potential audience that a show is a hit. Psychologically, we are more likely to watch a movie or TV show that is a hit than one that floundered. So we see ads proclaiming “tune in to NBCs #1 show” “Watch the funniest new show in years.” Leo lies about the shows and hosts he wants to promote.

      He did this when Mike Elgan started on TNT. He spoke on how wonderful Mike and the new TNT were.

      TNSS opened to a huge audience but fell apart. The YouTube numbers are similar to the TWiT weekly show in the 3k-4K area. You’re right though, it probably hovers around as the #2-#4 show.

      However, that show has multiple producers, guests, prerecorded segments, multiple intros… Compare that to the other shows that require Skype guests and one person to prepare a Google sheet.

      Game On was getting very similar downloads in the 50,000 range but it wasn’t worth the cost. The same holds true with TNSS but they won’t admit that. This is probably why they had all those other shows cut. The staff deserves more money for more shows so they chose to keep tnss and drop Cod101, TN2….

      When TNSS fails they will go audio only and ditch live, chat, video, TNT, Floss Weekly and HTG etc. This is Custards last stand.

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      1. Hi Regis. That was a really good comment – you’ve really put the viewership issue into perspective, especially the point about how much more production goes into a show like TNSS; what you said makes a lot of sense. Thanks!

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    2. Very few Totaldramatists let information they can’t corroborate stand in the way of their sneering hatred. I’ll go further: They cheerfully invent facts out of thin air about the doom, gloom and impending collapse of TWiT to feed their collective sneering hatred.

      I don’t know which is worse: Being a phony, lazy over-the-hill tech broadcaster or watching the phony, lazy over-the-hill tech broadcaster all day in order to chronicle evidence of his phoniness laziness and obsolescence.

      I do know, however, which is crazier.

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      1. Kelly Rippaport said:
        They cheerfully invent facts out of thin air about the doom, gloom and impending collapse of TWiT to feed their collective sneering hatred.

        —–2015—–
        -Count the new shows added in vs shows cancelled.
        -Count the hosts hired vs hosts fired.
        -List the new shows they are doing.
        -Do you think the *new* studio is bigger or smaller?
        -Did they add a NewYears special or drop one?
        -Are they getting better guests on TWiT or nobodies

        When I use public restrooms I often read the writing on the wall and so should you.

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        1. I didn’t say TWiT was doing well, but there’s a big difference between downsizing to reflect a changing environment (Leo has admitted the CNN of Tech thing isn’t working out) and “TWiT will be gone by April,” or a millon other dire predictions made without knowledge, evidence, or rationality but just wishful thinking.

          Lisa decided right after the last NYE’s show that they wouldn’t do another one. The lack of a NYE show doesn’t mean anything other than Lisa wanted to save money or it was too much work and she wanted to go away over New Years. Shitty of her but not an indication that TWiT is going to fold anytime soon.

          Worse guests on Sunday TWiT? They’re about the same minus JCD. Yesterday’s show had the editor-in-chief of TechRepublic, the technology editor at Popular Science, and one of the two managing editors of iMore. Who did they used to have? Jolie O’Dell. Lol.

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          1. Worse guests on Sunday TWiT? They’re about the sameminus JCD. Yesterday’s show had the editor-in-chief of TechRepublic, the technology editor at Popular Science, and one of the two managing editors of iMore. Who did they used to have? Jolie O’Dell. Lol.

            That’s hilarious. Should I get hard just because of their titles?

            Those guys were boring as fuck, at least Jolie O’Dell is entertaining… and her level of commentary is the same crap you hear from everyone. So yes, I’d pick the likes of Jolie O’Dell verus some idiot with a title who spends five minutes telling me how awesome FaceBag is because it connects people.

            Seriously, go fuck yourself.

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          2. Kelly Rippaport said:
            I didn’t say TWiT was doing well, but there’s a big difference between downsizing to reflect a changing environment (Leo has admitted the CNN of Tech thing isn’t working out) and “TWiT will be gone by April,”or a millon other dire predictions made without knowledge, evidence, or rationality but just wishful thinking.

            Lisa decided right after the last NYE’s show that they wouldn’t do another one. The lack of a NYE show doesn’t mean anything other than Lisa wanted to save money or it was too much work and she wanted to go away over New Years. Shitty of her but not an indication that TWiT is going to fold anytime soon.

            Worse guests on Sunday TWiT? They’re about the sameminus JCD. Yesterday’s show had the editor-in-chief of TechRepublic, the technology editor at Popular Science, and one of the two managing editors of iMore. Who did they used to have? Jolie O’Dell. Lol.

            I’m not impressed. iMore is a fanboy apple website. Others are just titles. Now go put your tiny dick up Leo’s arse and leave us alone.

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          3. holden said: Now go put your tiny dick up Leo’s arse and leave us alone.

            In other words, “Your comments are not conducive to the desired environment.” Lolz. How is this different from sheeplive? Only comments that toe the TD party line should comment here. Okee Dokee. I got it.

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          4. ScooterY said: In other words, “Your comments are not conducive to the desired environment.” Lolz. How is this different from sheeplive? Only comments that toe the TD party line should comment here. Okee Dokee. I got it.

            Holden speaks for the consensus here (he doesn’t speak directly for TD), but you’re free to express your opinions here, unlike TWiT’s chat. Eat a dick.

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  12. I just rewatched the open (https://twit.tv/shows/new-screen-savers/episodes/35?autostart=false) and realized I made a mistake.

    Not ALL the credits have been removed from the opening.

    One remains. Leo Laportes.

    I recall Leo bragging about how much they had to pay SF to close down Lombard Street so they could get their shot (implying he was one of the “Big Guys” because they closed down streets). Now most of that open is gone… it is 22 seconds now.

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