#TotalDrama obtains photo of evil machine that’s destroying TWiT

After months of investigative reporting, the editorial board at TotalDrama can finally reveal a photo that we obtained of the evil machine that is destroying TWiT. To protect sources inside 140 Keller St. we were previously unable to release this photo. But because the situation on the ground has changed drastically in recent days, we have decided to unmask the device in the interest of truth: It’s the Model Cirripedes 4210 Small Studio TelePrompTer from Johnson Community Television Services in Menlo Park, New Jersey.

A picture of the soul-sucking device that is, well, sucking souls at TWiT.

This soul-sucking device has been determined to be responsible for ruining the lives of Mike Elgan and Megan Morrone by removing what remains of their personalities through its dark glass screen. The amateurish broadcasting pair are simply losing their human essence as the words scroll across the screen… NatureBox… China… SquareSpace… All these compound words tracing their way across their brains are erasing their spirits word-by-word. (In contrast, the lovely and talented Sarah Lane was able to escape its clutches simply by remaining true to herself and interjecting her own words every now and then.)

The machine’s first victim appears to be Megan Morrone.

Sources have told TotalDrama that Elgan and Morrone’s ultimate fate is still to be decided by the machine. It is rumored that the device may decide to leave them as empty husks that will eventually just move their mouths weakly as advertising messages drift out through their slacked jaws. Technical Director Jason Cleanthes has thus far managed to elude the TelePrompTer’s deadly grasp, but for a very different reason: Cleanthes can’t read.

8 thoughts on “#TotalDrama obtains photo of evil machine that’s destroying TWiT”

  1. I’m sorry, but accusing the poor Teleprompter of sucking out the personality of one Michael Elgan is as slanderous as accusing it of killing a stone.

    And of course Sarah didn’t escape the prompter, its her workplace boytoy! In fact, she begged to not have it thrown out after the end of GameOn! and managed to force its use in both her solo shows!

    Sarah and the Prompter sitting in a tree …

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