In a stunning turn of events, TotalDrama has been forced to issue a public apology and would like to make the following corrections to the record:

• Leo Laporte is not fat and has never sexually harassed anyone at anytime.
• Lisa Kentzell is an excellent CEO and has pretty hair.
• “Marketing Mavericks” is a great show.
• Jeff Jarvis has beautiful teeth.
• NatureBox does not taste like cardboard.
• Mike Elgan is a capable broadcaster and never stutters.
• There are African-Americans on the network every day and just because we can’t see them, doesn’t mean they are not there.
• Christina Warren looks professional in her drugged-up hippie hat.
• Jason Snell does not need a bra.