So listen up, Leo Laporte. We know you’re reading this. So buckle up, bitch. TotalDrama ain’t goin’ nowhere. You thought you could scare us with your phoney-baloney legal threats against us? Not so fast, lardass. You’re going to need to prepare yourself for the hellride of the century—we’re watching every fuckin’ step you take at your lousy network. And we’ll be blogging it harder than ever.

Now that your hair has grown out and you’re feeling cocky, you think you can just continue to broadcast your shitty advice without getting called on it? You think you can just sexually harass the women at the TWiT Shithouse without us seeing? You think that you can just photograph your wife and her kid naked together in a tub without us writing about it?

We saw how you forced Cali Lewis to reveal that she was being groomed for perversion at age 12 with a 22-year-old man. We saw how you made her uncomfortable with talk of her divorce and failed business. So stay tuned, old man. We see everything.

TotalDrama is the champion of the voiceless, defenders of the downtrodden and our voice will be heard. Or whatever.