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Here’s Leo Laporte’s long list of Apple Watch purchasing obligations

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The TotalDrama accounting team is still calculating the cost of Leo's Apple Watch purchases.
The TotalDrama accounting team is still calculating the cost of Leo’s Apple Watch purchases.

Leo Laporte has not just fully indulged in his non-stop gluttonous lifestyle revolving around soup, he has 100-percent committed himself to proving to the world that he is the fattest cat on the block. To that end—with today’s impending Apple Watch announcement—TotalDrama is now prepared to release our predictions for Leo’s obligations to his family and their demands on his cash for their own Apple Watch:

  • Lisa “Kentzell Laporte has her wrist out for the gold Edition watch with red band with gold accent.
  • Abby “No Job” Laporte is opening her grubby little fingers for the light steel version with Milanese loop.
  • Henry “Whoa, Dude” Laporte is going to drag himself out of bed long enough to demand the sport watch with blue Fluoroelastomer band.
  • Leo “Tubscaster” Laporte is already planning on telling the world why he didn’t get himself the Gold Edition (he got it for his crazy wife) but opted instead for the dark steel watch with dark metal link band.
  • The TWiT staff will all be left waiting and wondering if Leo is buying any of them an Apple Watch as a performance-related bonus. The editorial board at TotalDrama holds out no hope for these slackers.