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Leo Laporte Never Donated a Fucking Dime on Patreon

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Update: Many commenters have raised concerns about our search criteria. There are no matches for any Laporte with the first name starting with L (this would include Lisa and Leo), without even considering an email address. His son, Henry, does have an account under his school email, but has not supported any Patreon campaigns.

Leo is very public with his accounts, and the reason none can be found under his name or very well-known emails is because he never created a fucking account because he wouldn’t stoop to paying for something he can get for free. He just complained on The Tech Guy about Textual 5 (his IRC program) being a $5 upgrade. For someone who spends money so freely, he is the most stingy person we know.

This information is accurate as of September 10, 2015, the latest date in the Patreon dump.

Leo Laporte lies all the time. We’ve posted examples of his many lies on a regular basis, but there’s one we couldn’t prove until recently. Every time OMGchad has been on, or Leo talks to Dickie D, he claims to looooooooooooooooove Patreon and implies that he donates to projects on the platform.

#Soup even had Jack Conte, founder of Patreon, on Triangulation and had his band, Pomplamoose, on The New Screen Savers recently to play. Each time, he hypes up Patreon. This video is a great example:

We finally have proof of what we always knew to be true: Leo Laporte has never given a single fucking cent to any project on Patreon. The fat fuck doesn’t even have an account.
Not a single cent!
Not a single cent!

We now know this thanks to hackers who used an obvious flaw in Patreon’s platform to exfiltrate all of their data and source code. The TotalDrama editorial board has been poring over the data, looking for any sign we might be wrong, but we were not. Leo has no account.

mysql> SELECT * FROM tblUsers
    -> WHERE Email LIKE '%@leoville.%'
    -> OR Email LIKE '%@twit.tv'
    -> OR Email = 'laporte@gmail.com'
    -> OR Email = 'leolaporte@outlook.com'
    -> OR (LName = 'Laporte'
    ->     AND FName LIKE 'L%');
Empty set (6.60 sec)

Leo Laporte didn’t appreciate being called a liar in the the chat room, but the gestapo mods quickly muted the brave chatter who dared point out that he lied. Thanks to that person for the inspiration for this post.