TotalDrama is in talks with a psychologist to help us plumb the depths of a few universal questions that have plagued mankind since the dawn of humanity. We plan on publishing a book detailing our findings in the Spring of 2021. But until then, commenters can help us with their thoughts on these vexing conundrums:

• Why does Leo Laporte insist on eating himself to an early grave?
• Why would Jason C. Cleanthes choose a Twitter handle that sounds like “Fucking Dumb?”
• Why does Lisa “Kentzell” Laporte think that her bangs work for her?
• Would Tonya Hall and Father Robert Ballecer ever consider going grocery shopping together to save on the cost of the 18-wheeler?
• Is there a deeper conspiracy behind Lisa treating Amber MacArthur like shit when Amber was fired after many years of loyal service (besides Lisa just being an evil cunt?)
• Is there any chance that Mike Elgan can deliver an entire sentence without stuttering and stammering like an old Chevy truck trying to start up cold on a frigid Alaska morning?
• How much longer until the receptionist at the Shithouse asks Chad Johnson, “Um, excuse me? Do you have an appointment?”
• Why has #EdieReingold forsaken us?