TWiT’s flagship show The New Screen Savers — the one that Leo Laporte constantly says is “a TV show” — had literally not one single person show up for the live recording on the most recent episode. Not one single sycophant even bothered to show up to see the rehashing of bullshit that Leo does on every one of his shows.

Nobody wanted to see Leo misuse TOR with his hardware firewall native ad. Nobody wanted to see Iain’s misshapen head and lack of a neck.

The viewership numbers have dwindled, but there are usually at least a couple sad sacks of shit that will show up to watch garbage in return for taking a photo with that guy who was on TechTV 10 years ago.

So instead, in what must be Leo Laporte’s ultimate shame, his reboot of The Screen Savers from the failed TechTV network had to have their own rent-a-cop do the cold open. Leo made jokes you can hear in the video above, which is what he does when he is uncomfortable.

Will Leo resort to paying for fake extras in the future? No. That costs money. Money is for cruises, shore excursions, and Leica equipment to try to convince Chris Markfart that he’s a real photographer.