Dearest God in Heaven Above,
Lord of Lords and Host of Hosts (but not Leo)

We beseecheth you to bringeth back ye olde TotalDrama. You know the one where there were constant #scoups and long-form videos?

Why hath thou done did and forsaken us in our time of need? Thine “comedy posts” doth rubbeth some readers the wrong way. You know, those readers who don’t pay a dime to this site, who don’t understand that this is a volunteer effort and that it takes time and patience to tendeth to a site like this one. You know, those idiots of the most graceful and tender nature.

So fucketh you all to a violent yet peaceful death and may you live and reign in the kingdom of Drama for evermore.

Amen.