Lisa Kentzell, mistress of Leo Laporte, was overheard recently at the Petaluma Market chatting with a girlfriend about the only reason she wears a skirt.

“I don’t wear underwear,” said the stringy-haired skank. “And I need to be able to cover up my gaping lady bits. It’s as simple as that.” Kentzell’s friend was later seen in the parking lot vomiting into an open trash can.

Update: It was also discovered recently that the only reason why Lisa wears a top is to keep her saggy boobs from getting sunburned.