In light of TWiT’s crimes against humanity: the horrible color balance on every show; lack of co-host racial diversity; and general malfeasance toward viewers, the European Court of Human Rights has opened proceedings into bringing Leo Laporte and the entire staff of the troubled tech network to Brussels to answer for their immoral acts.

The accused include:

• TWiT founder Leo “I Know Nothing” Laporte
• CEHo Lisa “Sieg Heil” Kentzell
• Chad “Jawohl mein Führer” Johnson
• Jeff “Purple Hitler” Jarvis
• Mike “Heinrich” Elgum

ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN and Fox News are all planning on sending correspondents. Lumber is reportedly running short in Brussels as they are erecting double-height gallows in anticipation of unanimous guilty verdicts.