Many of the kids out there are dreaming of one day becoming a Gumbot. But..it’s hard to know where to start. We at #TotalDrama care about the kids so we put this guide together:
- Always speak in one tone and never show any inflection in your voice
- Make jokes nobody gets, are not funny and make no sense to anyone but Joe Panetierri
- Always wear black high crew neck undershirts. If they come in style just switch to white or try a V-neck
- Pre Show interaction with fans should consist of saying “Whaddup chickenhead”
- Post Show interaction with fans should last for no more than 20 seconds after picking a title
- Segue into every ad read with: ……In a sec …..but first
- Never say ‘a lot’ or ‘many’ you will say bazilion or gazillion
- Never say ‘funny’ you will say ‘hilarious,’
- Start every new thought with; “well”
- Use only the following six adjectives: Astonishing, Awesome, Important, Creepy, Scary and Cool, If you need more you can amend like so:
1.Really (ie) Awesome
2.Really really (ie) Awesome
3.Super (ie) Awesome - Call people by their first and last name; Good morning Jason Howell. What do you think Don Reisinger?
- Go on for 5 to 10 minutes with any thought and allow guests to do likewise, babel away, do not get to the point
- The proper amount of time to spend on a dumb theory of yours is 20 minutes per half hour
- The show length is irrelevant. Listeners will adjust their commutes, you’re an important news man.
- Any press release from Google Inc. related to G+ or Google Glass, is a lead story
- App updates in IOS are a #scoup
- Ask bloggers how to run major corporations and countries regardless of their education or intelligence
- Disparage Supreme Court Justices, CEOs and heads of state as “not knowing what they are doing”
- Drum dat table