Leo Laporte—fresh off a three-week European vacation where he floated and Segwayed his way across the Continent—is fatter than ever.
In a recently-obtained spy photo, Leo appears to either be on the verge of death because of a belly that refuses to shrink, or is possibly even suffering from a rare stomach tumor that only affects obese men who marry whores.
Our prayers are with the Laporte family during this difficult time. Father Robert Ballecer would also be praying for them, but he’s too busy flying quadcopters over kindergarten playgrounds.