Leo “Fatass” Laporte, America’s worst son imaginable, explains to Heather “HaHa” Hamann how his sad wedding to the CEHo of TWiT, Lisa “Bangs” Kentzell, went down.

Leo reveals that his own mother didn’t even know that he remarried—all because Leo couldn’t be bothered to pick up the phone and tell the woman that gave birth to him about how he wed the next “love of his life.”

Leo ‘n’ Lisa were alone. No guests, no friends, just an ex-priest and hotel staff at the Calistoga Ranch. Come to think of it, this seems about right for a man who burns through friends like he does money. Best of luck on your third (or is it fourth?) marriage, Leo. I’m sure you and Lisa will have many happy months together.