Category Archives: Misc
TWiT taking bids from Petaluma contractors
TWiT HQ needs at least $278,000 worth of work to shore up the foundation due to the massive weight gain of at least two staffers. In response to the emergency, TWiT has put out a call to Petaluma-area contractors for competitive bids on a large-scale renovation project at the network’s headquarters.
Sources inside the embattled studio facilities of Leo Laporte’s dwindling network, said that the requested quote involves stabilizing the foundation as well as replacing the floorboards. It is said that the creaking structure is soon feared not to be able to support the combined weight of TWiT staff and could result in a “catastrophic and potentially deadly collapse.”
Due to the year-over-year weight gain of founder Leo Laporte, Father Robert Ballecer and other contributors, the basement will be completely filled in with concrete as to provide a solid footing; otherwise the Petaluma Building and Safety Department is planning on shutting the entire building, which would result in a total work stoppage on Keller Street. The only hope, said city officials, is for Leo and Padre to both lose at least 200 lbs.
Bids are due by August 30 and TWiT CEHo Lisa Kentzell is expected to announce the start of work shortly thereafter.
Father Robert’s provocative tweets
Father Robert’s Twitter is on fire today. Check for yourself some of the insensitive comments Father Robert has been making:
Your vote counts!
‘I still smell and taste you’
I never want this information to leave the public consciousness.
So here it is, one more time for old times’ sake, the Gawker Media story on Leo Laporte’s dirty texts that were broadcast live on-air:
Laporte: come over. I’m naked in bed
Laporte: waiting for you. the door is open
Lisa Kentzell: I love you.
Laporte: i still smell and taste you. i adore you.
Lament in Brick
A voice from long ago is back with an artistic vision of “brick.” You may cry, so bring a tissue.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qFSANZyNfk
Coup de grâce for TWiT News
Today the dream was realized. A monumental achievement, worthy of a Peabody, a Pulitzer and an Emmy, occurred for TWiT.tv. The eloquent Mike Elgum beautifully summarized the Ferguson story for his audience and yet he neglected to mention a small detail, that Michael Brown was black.
TNT show delves into race politics
Today’s late-in-the-show introduction of the important national story from Ferguson, Mo., revolving around murder, ethnic strife and police brutality is a shameful episode in TNT history. Elgum’s insistence on bringing race politics into Tech News Today is inappropriate and should lead to sanctioning by Leo Laporte. Typically stories of such importance are not saved until the end of the show, but rather presented early, as befits their ranking in the mind of the news director. So it’s nice to know that not only hasn’t Elgum ever had an African-American woman on his show, but he holds racial stories in such low regard that he won’t slot the story earlier. Nice try, though, trying to shoehorn this into your crap show just for the SEO and click bait.
I wonder what the advertisers are thinking about the show losing focus and entering murky racial territory in such a flippant manner. Watch yourself there, Mr. News Director, you might just find yourself routinely alienating half your audience just by opening your mouth about matters you know nothing about. What’s next? A TNT discussion about abortion and gay rights?
Here’s a partial transcript from the Twitlive chatroom:
<~Leo> It’s a difficult editorial decision for us – i don’t think it’s a tech story
13:46:22] <~Leo> but I just don’t think it’s a tech story
<~Leo> on the other hand my heart says we should talk about it all the time
[13:47:11] <~Leo> it’s a horrific story
[13:47:22] <~Leo> and obviously I care about it and am following it
[13:47:28] <~Leo> but we have to understand our beat
The master has spoke, Elgum.
Quality control hits new low at TWiT
We all know that in tough times, hard decisions must be made. And TWiT is not immune to the vagaries of the tech economy. A recent downturn in advertising has forced Leo ‘n’ Lisa to cut back on everything from employee access to the freebie NatureBox swag, to healthcare for new hires.
But in a new low—even for the notoriously miserly Leo Laporte—”This Week in Computer Hardware” is presented without an audio track. It’s unclear as of press time if the error was intentional or just the result of the video editing staff being overworked to the point of exhaustion. CEHo Lisa Kentzell has said that no stone will be left unturned in looking for cost savings. It might have been determined that leaving out the audio track could have saved upwards of $.05 a show; a savings that the stringy-haired homewrecker might not have been able to pass up.
TWiT watcher and #TotalDrama contributor Richard Yes said, “Making the editors work nights, instead of spending time with their loved ones, seems to have paid off. Great work Team TWiT.”
Update: THEY PULLED THE PAGE DOWN IN SHAME.
Update 2: Comment from Leo Laporte on the Twitlive chatroom:
<Leo> producers and editors are supposed to make sure the files are correct before they go home
<Leo> Hey I pay these guys a lot!
TWiT has pulled the link to the original show page, so we’ve removed the non-working link. But trust us, they had a show up that was an hour of no audio.
Update 3: OK. Hold on to your hats everybody. The link is back UP. But the audio is STILL missing.
Update 4: Aw crap. They fixed it for good this time.
Robot toilet to host new TWiT show
As the cost-cutting bloodbath continues unabated at TWiT HQ, Leo ‘n’ Lisa have decided to announce the launch of yet another TWiT show. “We’ve decided that technology will take a back seat to more human needs,” said CEHo Lisa Kentzell. “Instead of hiring a competent African-American female host, we’ve decided to go in another direction and focus more on how robots are actually not that different from us.” Another benefit, besides the robot toilet being white, is that the Megatron Bowel Blaster 3000 will be required to work late on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
The name for the new show has yet to be determined, but inside sources say that Leo is close to squeezing out the final choice this weekend. #TotalDrama is confirming, however, that the first guest on the robot’s new show will be Mike Elgum.
