Is Megan Morrone a Closet Racist?

File photo. Date unknown.
File photo. Date unknown.
Megan Morrone is not known for her insightful commentary, wit, charm, or looks, but no one thought she was a racist. The seemingly well-adjusted mother (we heard that she’s a parent somewhere; can’t remember where) couldn’t keep her mouth shut on this week’s iOS Today.

Even King of the Gaffe Leo Laporte had to shut it down, saying “You’re really digging it deeper and deeper each time” as Megan continued explaining why it was OK to only feel compassion for terror victims with the same skin tone as yourself.

Sure, it’s not overt, and hopefully she won’t be the racist grandma calling the neighbor’s children racial epithets, but sometimes casual, systemic racism can be even worse. We hope Leo Laporte can help Megan Morrone be more racially sensitive in the future.

Thanks to a commenter “Dan” for the tip on this article. You can submit a tip by using our feedback link. You can join us in our chat room at any time.

TWiT Wants to Know Your Favorite Clip of 2015

Update 3: Patrick has now removed The Tech Guy from the list of shows in response to your suggestions. You will need to be creative there as well. The form now states: “Not every show gets a “Best of” episode. If you do not see a show listed, there is no “Best of” planned.”
Update 2: TWiT is now censoring the form. You’ll need to be creative since “penis”, “dick pic”, “oooo”, and “Total Drama” are banned from being entered. We don’t understand why they would ask for favorite clips and then prevent you from describing your favorite. The regular expression to censor your thoughts is (at the time of posting):
pattern="^(?!^.*.*dick pic.*|.*dickpic.*|.*oooo.*|.*fuck.*|.*shit.*|.*cunt.*|.*asshole.*|.*penis.*|.*cock.*|.*Total.*Drama.*|.*total.*drama.*.*$).*$"
Update 1: Many commenters are worried that TWiT might be gathering their IPs. Fortunately for you, TWiT doesn’t employ any actual developers and they’re using a Google Sheets form for the input. TWiT isn’t getting your IP; it’s going straight to Google. If you are still concerned, please feel free to use an anonymizing service.

Penis seen round the world. Pixelated for your protection.
Penis seen round the world. Pixelated for your protection.
TWiT wants to know what you think is the best clip of 2015. We have a pretty strong suggestion.

Please let TWiT know what you think counts as the best clip of 2015. We have provided our helpful suggestions for each of their fields, but please customize your submission to make it your own!

Episode Number 1190
Show Name The Tech Guy
(Patrick has now removed The Tech Guy from the list of shows so you’ll need to be creative)
Airdate May 24, 2015
Time Into Episode 2h 26m 15s
Where in the episode? When you showed your dick pic and said “oooo”
(They have now censored “dick pic”, “oooo”, and “penis”)
Why? Almost killed Total Drama from excess web traffic
(They have now censored “Total Drama”)
Your Name Definitely use your real name

If for some reason you can’t see the form above, use this link.

Man of God: Father Robert Ballecer Shows TWiT Live Stream Sick Fetish Definitions

Father Robert Ballecer
Fr. Robert Ballecer
This is the Total Drama series Man of God, in which we chronicle the exploits of one Father Robert Ballecer, aka Grimace in a Priest Costume, aka The Digital Jesuit, aka <PadreSJ>, aka FMCP, aka <MetalHealthSJ>. Please use our dvr and send in tips with examples of his very Christlike behavior.

Father Robert Ballecer manages to insult the state of Alabama as well as all of the TWiT live audience in the clip above. It’s absolutely disgusting that he thinks people need to know about the so-called Alabama Hot Pocket (NSFW).

Why does Leo Laporte keep this fake priest employed?

Bing Agrees: Lisa Has Ruined TWiT

Bing knows what's up.
Bing knows what’s up.

If you all wanted a quick laugh (to take your mind off the grueling schedule of hate-watching the complete turd festival that TWiT has devolved into), head on over to bing.com and type in “Lisa Kentzell” and wait for the autocomplete. What you’ll see may or may not be a surprise depending on your level of loathing for the short-banged, hatchet-faced cunt known as the gold-digger-in-chief, Lisa Laporte.

But who are we to argue with the wisdom of the crowd? Plenty of people are indeed searching for the term “Lisa Kentzell is ruining TWiT” to make it show up so high in legitimate search results. We at Total Drama pride ourselves on our power to effect change, but even the most hardcore TWiT sycophant has to admit that we are not able to game the system to this extent. The truth is in the data.

As always, thanks to one of our loyal readers for submitting this in our feedback link. You can join us in our chat room at any time to talk about #Soup and TWiT’s failings.

TWiT Doesn’t Use FreshBooks Either

Art is Anal Agency, LLC
Art is Anal Agency, LLC
Leo Laporte’s good friend Amber I don’t know her / Hi there; hola MacArthur told him to use FreshBooks while they worked together in Canada. We loooooove Amber.

Total Drama knows that TWiT loves its advertisers, so we were a bit confused when we learned that Lisa’s new LLC scheme, Art is Anal Agency, LLC, was asking questions about setting up her account in QuickBooks.

#LoveWins
#LoveWins
We’re not sure why, when she’s fucking Theeeeeeeeeeee Tech Guy, that she needs support from Intuit, but there she is asking for it. Could it be that TWiT’s new LLC is not using FreshBooks?

It’s also interesting that they appear to be using the name of a gay wedding ring designer & manufacturer for their LLC’s name.

Hmmm
Hmmm

Lisa Laporte Explains Exactly What Is So Fucked Up About TWiT’s Advertising

Guest SubmissionThis post was a comment from the wonderful evilpants. Many commenters thought it should be promoted to its own post, and we always listen to the very constructive feedback offered by our readers.


By: evilpants

Good grief, I just read the page on their site directed at new advertisers:

Advertise on TWiT.tv

TWiT has been an ad-supported network for almost ten years and we have helped hundreds of companies grow their brands and increase their customer base by educating our audience about their products and services through ads on TWiT.tv. Our advertisers are a mix of start-ups, established brands, and those that we helped become established brands.

TWiT reaches a highly-engaged, tech-savvy audience as one of the world’s largest Internet broadcasters of live and on demand technology shows. In 2012 we established our own sales team because we wanted to work directly with our advertisers on super-serving our audience. Our sales team currently has 65% of sales in-house and is led by our CEO Lisa Laporte who heavily vets potential advertisers before allowing them on our network. Our in-house sales team has an in depth knowledge of our shows, direct access to our hosts, and works closely with our advertisers to create the best ads for our audience.

We are always interested in new advertisers who have products and services that will directly benefit our audience. If you are interested in advertising on the TWiT network then email advertising@twit.tv

There really is no one at TWIT who has any idea how to write marketing copy, and no one who knows how to address marketing people.

Even this sentence’s construction is sloppy and lazy:

Our advertisers are a mix of start-ups, established brands, and those that we helped become established brands.

Just look at that. They have three types of advertisers: 1) start-ups, 2) established brands, and…. um, 3) established brands. That’s a really stupid way of writing. If you know how to write English, and if you’re aiming to show that you understand what you’re saying, you’d say something like “Our advertisers are a mix of start-ups and established brands. Many of those have become established brands thanks to their partnership with TWIT.”

It’s only a small point, but I guess I’m saying, these people can’t even get a basic piece of marketing spiel right. It’s not just that sentence, it’s the whole thing. It’s written by someone who thinks they know how to write, but clearly doesn’t.

And the fact that once again they felt the need to say “our sales team… is led by our CEO Lisa Laporte” pretty much tells you who wrote the page.

Finally, they make a point of saying that Lisa Laporte “heavily vets” potential advertisers. For what? Ethical reasons? Equality reasons? Diversity reasons? They don’t bother saying. It ends up sounding like TWIT is a smarmy spoiled child. If they’re bothered to explain what the purpose of the vetting is, it would make it a positive thing – but the fact that they don’t, makes it a really negative thing.

What advertiser would want to be put through a “heavy vetting” process? Oh please, please let us advertise with you 🙁

Really, Christina Warren, really?

Christina Warren (aka Film_Girl, aka, Poop_Girl, aka FlimsyCunt) appeared on a recent “This Week in Tech” looking like a suburban turd. Her greasy hair and over-done eye makeup is really just too much. She claims to live in Brooklyn. Listen up, honey. That makeup is more suited to Staten Island or the Bridge-and-Tunnel crowd than the hipster enclave of Brooklyn.

First of all, WHAT are those stringy pieces of blackened kelp hanging off the back of her head? And please don’t tell me that that is her actual hair. It looks like she’s got nasty Johnny Depp-style pirate hair. And secondly, does she really think that a touch of rouge is going to reverse decades of built-in ugly?

So why don’t you come clean already and confess that you are not camera-ready and stick to doing “Tech News Today” while hiding behind a still image and using audio-only Skype.

Man of God: Father Robert Ballecer is Obsessed With Total Drama

Father Robert Ballecer
Fr. Robert Ballecer
This is the Total Drama series Man of God, in which we chronicle the exploits of one Father Robert Ballecer, aka Grimace in a Priest Costume, aka The Digital Jesuit, aka <PadreSJ>, aka FFF, aka <MetalHealthSJ>. Please use our dvr and send in tips with examples of his very Christlike behavior.

Subtle reverse-troll or obsessed with Total Drama? You decide.
Subtle reverse-troll or obsessed with Total Drama? You decide.

We aren’t sure whether or not the fake priest is obsessed with Total Drama and doxxing people or if this is a subtle troll in the latest episode of Know How. We’d like to believe it’s the latter and give him points for that, however we will allow the commenters to be the judge.

Thanks to an anonymous tipster who sent this in.

Megan Morrone won’t fuckin’ give us a rest

“Tech News 2Night” hostess Megan Morrone won’t give anybody a rest from her raging ugliness. Check out this NSFA (Not Safe for Anywhere) tweet that showcases her breathtakingly unappealing nature: