Carly Perkins Replacing Jeff Needles

Update 2: Jeff Noodles now works for Meerkat, defying #Soup’s “couldn’t handle the heat” asssumption.
Leo has clarified that Jeff Needles “couldn’t take the heat” and that is the reason he quit. He also confirmed that Noodles does not currently have a job lined up. Please read our continuing coverage and watch the video.

Carly and Lisa, planning the new TWiT store.
Carly and Lisa, planning the new TWiT store.
Jeff Noodles is still transitioning out of TWiT on his way to new heights walking around filming himself like an idiot, but Total Drama favorite Carly Perkins will be taking over his duties.

Leo Laporte loooooooooooooooves Carly too. He thinks she’s magnificent (once he remembered her name) and has offered her a show.

TD loves that smile.
TD loves that smile.
There will likely be less sniveling during the pre-show since Noodles will be gone and Carly Perkins is a beautiful goddess (just behind Sarah Lane and Abby Johnston). Carly Perkins will be asked to head up TWiT’s newest failure, a persistent online store for sycophants to buy garb to declare their allegiance to King #Soup.

News You Can Lose ( #HowIWatchTNT #TN2Selfie )

Glorious Carly

If you don’t see a GIF below, click here.

33 thoughts on “Carly Perkins Replacing Jeff Needles”

  1. Am I drunk again or wasn’t the current Mrs. Laporte an account executive? Account executive is code for a bookkeeper you don’t want to pay anything substantial.

    Well I hope Leo remembers just how much he lovvvves the current model and is a good boy.

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    1. “http://www.lisakentzell.com/2013/11/growing-twit-beyond-leo-laporte.html”

      Since, it seems, Lisa has failed at her job for so long (see above link where she’s admitting it BACK IN 2013) it only seems obvious (at least to those outside the TWiT sphere of influence) that she should be immediately dropped as CEO and a suitable replacement be found ASAP to save what’s left of any dignity Leo has in the tech media.

      This latest effort (The New Screen Savers) seems like such a lame excuse at trying to re-live the past (they keep bringing in people to reminisce about days long ago) that its shelf life will be shorter than the bread I bought this afternoon unless they can bring in new talent to expand on what product they’ve shown up to now.

      I’d like to type more, but I’m bored, it’s late, and quite frankly I’m tired of knowing what’s right and seeing other ignoring it only to their detriment. But that’s just my opinion….I could be wrong.

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    2. Normally a bookkeeper is a woman that does the work of an accountant whilst getting $2.00/hour above minimum wage.

      Account executive normally is a sales rep for existing accounts (i.e. do nothing but take them golfing once a year) and they get paid MUCH TOO WELL (but I guess ass kissing and brown nosing does take a certain skill set.)

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  2. After seeing a closeup of “MrsCEO’s” wrinkles and double chin and manly appearance (context: some close up shots of her holding the kitten was shot today after TheNewShitSavers)she’s going downhill very quickly, may I recommend Leo grab a new Mistress ASAP , that should piss off the current “Mrs CEO” and help speed up the sinking of the SS ShitHouse .. I put his creepy Uncle Perveness towards ladies right up there with Bill Cosby, Least Bill has some sense to deny it, unlike Leo who has years of “video evidence” against him

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  3. Lisa seems to have a real authoritative complex. You can already tell there is some insecurity by Lisa’s unnecessary remarks in having to reinforce herself by explicitly degrading/downplaying Carly’s title.

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    1. Mr The New Jizz Wiz (and I’m fairly certain your mother didn’t give you that name),

      1) Lisa was not having a so called power trip on or over Carly. Quite the opposite, Carly is being hired full time as an account executive. She will take over many of Lisa accounts. This will hopefully give Lisa more time to be involved in the production and editing of other show on the network. Her work with The New Screen Savers has been nothing short, well, I can’t hold back, techtastic! Even the sickest Total Drama devotee can’t twist this into a negative. #C_E_Outstanding!

      2) Lisa, clearly not the crazed and power hungry character your post implied, is also assigning Carly with the task of opening up a store. From what I can gather, this doesn’t involve her sitting at the Brick House front desk selling shirts and keychains, as she’ll be way to busy with all of Lisa’s accounts. I gonna have to agree with Lisa on this one, TWiT merch does need some more consistency, and it can be upsetting when those limited run t-shirts sell out. #C_E_Outsells_the_Competition!

      These are just the facts TD, deal with it. #TWiTastic!

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      1. That’s hilarious, Lisa knows nothing about show production. The only thing she knows, is how to screw her way to the top. Editing, give me an effing break.

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  4. LADIES AND GENTLEMAN Total Drama had an exclusive INTERVIEW WITH CEO (Chief Executive Officer) of multimillion dollar TWiT studios let’s here what she has to say:

    TD: Hi Lisa how are you today?

    Lisa: “You know everyone keeps you know I’d like to set up a TWiT store”

    TD: Okay so far we know you want to set up a TWiT store. so what is your strategy, and your objectives?

    Lisa: “I actually have a full-time assistant starting”

    TD: The use of “actually” early in a sentence means, actually indicates that you are about to say something that makes you look important. But please go on Mrs. Laporte:

    Lisa: I mean she isn’t really, I gave her a great title, but she’s really going to be my assistant.

    TD: Okay you gave her a great title, but now you are degrading her before she starts? Are you sure that is a good idea?

    Lisa: No, Carly is gonna, she’s gonna be full time starting on the 20th, so I’m *SUPER EXCITED* about that?

    TD: Okay why is that a question then?

    Lisa: And she’s going to be an account executive cuz she’s going to oversee a lot of my sales and clients and things like that, but I’m also gonna really talk to her about maybe starting a TWiT store, and having her set it up and keep it going cuz I’d like to do a SCREEN SAVERS SHIRT

    TD: AWE, dat is soo cutsie woootsie, shes going to be an account executive and stuff. Wowsi my wittle girl is all gwown up now. I see, so you want to make a SCREEN SAVERS SHIRT. Wowsie Wowsie WOOO WOOO

    Lisa: and I don’t want it to be a one-off, (leo: yea) *I want it to be something people can get* .

    TD: Oh, I see, you want it to be something people can get. That’s a good idea. I see you must be a graduate of Harvard Business School.

    Lisa : So, yeah I would just like to have a few things maybe not a huge store, but let’s start with something and see what happens. (leo: we could start selling crap from the basement)

    TD: Okay, let’s do that, start with something, maybe something people can get, and we will see what happens.

    Lisa: Yea. Um, we’ll see what makes sense for us cuz it’s not really our main focal point but I would love to have a few things just for fans and and have them be able to get it when they want to.

    TD: Okay so you want to have a store, and start with something people can get, you know for fans, so they can get it when they want to. That’s great! Lisa.

    Lisa :I’d like to have a shirt for every show we do things like that, yea beer steins for Windows weekly. A shirt for you know other shows, just depends on what people want.

    TD: Hey Hey Hey, slow down girl, your going to fast.

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    1. No, she screwed her way into being an accountant for a biker gang, then a construction business and now is Leo’s princess. Where’s my puke bucket.

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  5. Is ESET still a sponsor of the radio show? Leo just railed against antiviruses, calling them useless. (which, I mean, he’s right… but it’s a little disingenuous considering he spent so many years praising ESET’s products)

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    1. Nope, not for many years.

      Yes, his opinions are BS. I’m sure his bowties and cardigans will soon disappear in favor of his old TechTV shirts as soon as Trunk Club stops advertising.

      Remember Tonx coffee? How many coffee making devices did he buy when Tonx was a sponsor? Now the only time you hear him mention coffee is when he asks for one from JammerB.

      Although antiviruses are useless for those who know their way around a computer, that’s not who his audience is for the radio show.

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      1. But won’t it be cool to see Mr. Laporte barefoot, skinny, and unshaven when Jack Erwin, Nature Box, Blue Apron, and Harry’s leave?

        just askin’ and best regards

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  6. What does she need an assistant for? All she does is shop. The woman has zero responsibilities besides taking care of Leo. Everytime he mentions her on Sat or Sun she is out getting a massage or doing something for her son or her pets.

    I think she is trying to edit now because she has nothing to do. Her work week is 9 hours of work (as a high estimate.) The real reason they closed the dropcams was due to people seeing her getting in at 11 AM and leaving at 4:30 every work day, assuming she came in at all. She takes off every day Leo takes off plus her own personal days.

    Why is she “tricking” Carly into being her assistant? The woman is useless. Everytime she has a plan it doesn’t work. Check out her idiot CEO blog how she wanted to make Leo less of the total network income. She was also trying to do a network deal, and also trying to get hosts exposure on other networks. Nothing she says on inside TWiT never happens. Whenever she has a plan on inside twit she just says “we’ll see how it goes,” and it goes nowhere.

    She is ineffective as a CEO. All she can do is put up banner ads and sell shirts and mugs to the chat mods and comatose fans. Any idiot can do those things without her dumb spreadsheets.

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  7. CEO is giving Leo some business lessons on the live stream right now.

    Wow.

    I mean, I’m not a CEO. But I freelanced for many years, so I know a bit business accounting and whatnot. I really hope they have an outside accounting firm go over her numbers before they file their taxes

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  8. Were the Dropcans darkened because of the bomb threat? That seems counterintuitive. That whole incident seems like a classic false flag operation. No Dropcams, tighten access to the studio, and in the name of what? Someone’s got to look at this more closely. It has inside job written all over it.

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    1. yup they used that as a excuse to get rid of them.
      it may have been inside job. they’ll kick u from twit irc if you ask about what happened even. who knows sad either way

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    2. A sure sign of a manipulator is to isolate the manipulated. Cut them off from friends, family and real fans. Look at the things that have changed, the people that have left in the last few years. What is the 1 common denominator?

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  9. The 911 call was a inside call, inside the call center, whomever made that call, knew enough that the call couldn’t be traced. I wonder if Leo ever toured the 911 call center….

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  10. I figured since alot of you liked my last post, I’d add my two cents to this post too.

    It’s very interesting she needs an assistant when she doesn’t do that much in the grand scheme of things. I think she is setting up a falling guy / gal when they get audited or investigated. I think this young girl should keep an eye out for a second job just in case she needs to bail.

    Also she better keep her senses aware when that fat fuck eating bitch gets horny and starts harassing her and looking up her skirts.

    I plan on writing about that sorry of an excuse in prompt to Inside No Nothing Secretive TWIT.

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  11. A couple of months ago, in anticipation of hiring Carly, Leo mused about creating a promotional “Carly cardboard cutout” because he knew “all the guys would buy it.” He went on to say how he would personally decide what should would wear and how she would be posed for the cutout. Creepy.

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    1. Remember when the Chief was constantly threatening viewers with the prospect of CEO appearing in a catsuit over some running wager they had going? My lunch is thankfully ignorant of whatever happened with that.

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      1. I do remember that…thank god it didn’t happen. But I wouldn’t be surprised if we see “Cardboard Carly” at some point – he seemed obsessed with it. He even decided on a hands on hips pose because he thought it would look best. He sounded like a Batman villain plotting poor Carly’s inevitable transformation into a TWiT fanboy collectible.

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